Opinion
No. FA09-4015668S
August 18, 2010
MEMORANDUM OF DECISION
The plaintiff wife ("wife"), whose maiden name was Mary Katherine Marcon, and the defendant husband ("husband") were married in New Canaan, Connecticut on August 15, 1992. The marriage was the wife's first and the husband's second. Two children were born to the wife during the marriage, both of whom are minors, to wit: George Tricomi, born September 7, 1995, and Amalia Tricomi, born November 25, 1996. The husband had two children from his previous marriage, both of whom came to live with him and were raised by the couple. Both of them have reached their majority. The wife voluntarily vacated the marital residence in December 2009, and she currently resides in a rental unit in New Canaan. The husband has remained in the marital residence. The parties share parenting responsibilities in accordance with a Parenting Plan dated June 30, 2009, as on file with the court (#116.10).
The wife is 51 years old and described her health as good. However, she testified to a litany of health issues including treatment for skin cancer, a tumor removed from her neck, bladder surgery, perforated diverticulitis, arthritis in her neck, and a pinched nerve for which she is receiving physical therapy. She is a graduate of Fairfield University with a degree in Marketing and has a law degree from Fordham University in 1988. She is admitted to practice in both Connecticut and New York. The wife practiced law in New York City full-time for approximately eight years, when she stopped to assume more of the homemaker functions. She worked in the specialized area of mortgage-backed securities, and she was earning approximately $150,000.00 per annum when she stopped. The wife returned to the workforce briefly about September 2006 in order to help with the family finances, but she was laid off during the economic downturn in 2008. Her annual starting salary was approximately $190,000.00, which increased to $265,000.00 by the time she was laid off. Although she is currently looking for work as an attorney, she has received no job offers. Currently, she is receiving unemployment compensation. She expressed some concerns about her ability to return to that level of earnings. She offered some testimony through Ann Israel, who specializes in placing attorneys with larger firms, who opined that no firm was currently hiring in the wife's specialized area, and, in fact, the position did not exist. However, she did concede that the wife is employable, just not in her former field. The husband disputed her testimony. The court found her credibility weak on this point.
The husband is 52 years old, and he describes his health as "excellent." He earned an undergraduate degree from the University of Pennsylvania and a law degree from Fordham University. He has worked steadily throughout the marriage as an attorney in Manhattan at a series of law firms. The husband is currently a partner at Chapman Cutler, LLP, where he earns $570,000.00 per annum.
The principal asset of the parties is the marital residence at 50 Comstock Hill Road, New Canaan, Connecticut. There is a difference of opinion between the parties as to its value. According to the financial affidavit of the husband, the residence is valued at $1,100,000.00. There is currently a mortgage in the amount of $918,676.00, as well as a home equity loan in the amount of $367,860.00. Thus there is no equity. The wife believes the home to be worth $1,400,000.00, with somewhat larger liens, but with an equity of $98,000.00. The wife brought to the marriage a condominium in New York, which was later sold and the net proceeds used for family projects, including home improvements and a down payment on their first home at Pocconock Trail. That home was later sold, and the net proceeds rolled into the current marital home. In addition to some very modest assets owned either jointly or individually, the only other significant assets are the retirement accounts accumulated by the husband totaling approximately $600,000.00.
As to the breakdown of the marriage, the wife attributes this to a gradual growing apart over the course of the marriage. For his part, the husband also attested to the "growing incompatibility" and the "tough blending" of the two families. He added that he felt that "being a wife and mother was simply not her strength."
The court heard the parties and the witness over the course of two days, including final argument. At the time of trial, the wife raised the issue of tuition for their son to continue at Fairfield Prep, where he will be entering his sophomore year this coming fall. However, at trial, the husband agreed to let their son continue this year, but to take a wait and see attitude for the future. Accordingly, the court has taken this into account in the overall decree.
FINDINGS
The Court, having heard the testimony of both parties, and having considered the evidence presented at hearing, as well as, inter alia, the factors enumerated in General Statutes § 46b-56, 46b-56a, 46b-56c, 46b-81, 46b-82, 46b-84, and 46b-215a, including the Child Support and Arrearage Guidelines Regulations, hereby makes the following findings:
1. That it has jurisdiction.
2. That the allegations of the complaint are proven and true.
3. That the marriage of the parties has broken down irretrievably, and that ample evidence exists that both parties have contributed to said breakdown.
4. That during the marriage, neither party has received any aid or assistance from the State of Connecticut or any town or political subdivision thereof.
5. That in entering an order for child support, a court must consider both General Statutes § 46b-215b and the Child Support and Arrearage Guidelines Regulations ("Guidelines"), as well as the factors set forth in General Statutes § 46b-84; and that child support orders must be based upon the net income of the parties. Morris v. Morris, 262 Conn. 299, 306 (2003); Ludgin v. McGowan, 64 Conn.App. 355, 358 (2001).
6. That the combined net weekly income of the parties is in excess of the maximum Child Support Guidelines amount; that presumptive basic child support is $636.00 per week; and that the husband's share is $604.00; and that the Court finds it is appropriate and equitable to apply the deviation criteria set forth in § 46b-215a-3(b)(5) of the Child Support and Arrearage Guidelines Regulations on the basis of the coordination of total family support.
7. That in entering an order for child support, a court must consider both General Statutes § 46b-215b and the Child Support and Arrearage Guidelines Regulations ("Guidelines"), as well as the factors set forth in General Statutes § 46b-84; that where the net income of the parties is in excess of the maximum Child Support Guidelines amount, the court need not apply the presumptive minimum support amount set forth in the Guidelines; but that if the court enters an order less than the presumptive minimum support amount, it must base such order on one or more of the specific deviation criteria set forth in said Guidelines. Battersby v. Battersby, 218 Conn. 467, 471-72 (1991); Benedetto v. Benedetto, 55 Conn.App. 350, 355 (1999).
8. That it is more likely than not that the parents would have provided support to each of the children for higher education or private occupational school if the family were intact, in that in their proposed orders, each parent has requested that the court to retain jurisdiction to enter educational support orders in the future. General Statutes § 46b-56c.
9. That throughout the marriage, until their separation, both parties each made significant contributions to the acquisition, maintenance, and preservation of the family assets, including the real estate.
10. That the parties have entered into a certain "Parenting Plan" dated June 30, 2009, as on file with the court (#116.10) and previously made an order thereof on June 30, 2009, which the court now finds to be fair and equitable under all the circumstances and in the best interest of the minor children. General Statutes § 46b-56a(b); Stahl v. Bayliss, 98 Conn.App. 63, 69-70 (2006), cert. den., 280 Conn. 945 (2006).
11. That taking into consideration the factors set forth in General Statutes § 46b-82, including the age, education, previous earnings, overall health, the ages of the children, and work experience of the wife, in light of the facts and circumstances of this case, a time-limited award of alimony is appropriate. Ippolito v. Ippolito, 28 Conn.App. 745, cert. denied, 224 Conn. 905 (1992); Milbauer v. Milbauer, 54 Conn.App. 304, 312-15 (1999).
12. That the parties have joint legal custody of the minor children; that a private school education will provide the minor child George with significant educational, athletic, and social benefits; that the evidence demonstrates that George has adjusted well to that environment at Fairfield Prep both academically and socially; that the father has sufficient income and assets to contribute to the cost of a private school education for George; and that it is equitable and appropriate and in the best interest of the minor child that he continue his enrollment at Fairfield Prep for the academic year 2010/2011; that the father should contribute thereto. Carroll v. Carroll, 55 Conn.App. 18, 24 (1999); Flynn v. Flynn, 7 Conn.App. 745, 747, (1986); that a reassessment of George's situation at Fairfield Prep should take place at the end of said academic year; and that the court should reserve jurisdiction to enter appropriate orders should the parties be unable to agree regarding his continued enrollment for subsequent academic years.
13. That the court has reviewed the Affidavit Re Counsel Fees (Exhibit #2) dated July 30, 2010, and finds them to be fair and reasonable under all the circumstances; and that it is fair and equitable that the husband make a contribution thereto.
ORDERS IT IS HEREBY ORDERED AS FOLLOWS:
1. The marriage of the parties is hereby dissolved, and they are each hereby declared to be single and unmarried.
2. The parties shall share joint legal custody of the minor children and their parenting responsibilities in accordance with the Parenting Plan dated June 30, 2009, a copy of which is attached hereto and incorporated herein as "Schedule A."
3. Commencing September 1, 2010, and on the first day of each and every month thereafter, the husband shall pay to the wife the sum of $13,750.00 as and for periodic unallocated alimony and child support, until the death of either party, the remarriage of or entry into a civil union by the wife, or August 31, 2020, whichever shall sooner occur. In the event that the alimony shall terminate for whatever reason and either or both children are minors, commencing with the first day of the first month following such termination, and monthly thereafter, the husband shall pay to the wife a sum consistent with the then existing Child support Guidelines or as the court may otherwise direct, as and for child support, until such time as the oldest child shall reach the age of eighteen years, at which time child support for the remaining child shall again be adjusted in accordance with the then existing Child Support Guidelines or as a Court may otherwise direct. The foregoing notwithstanding, if any child shall turn eighteen years old and is still in high school, then, in that event, the child support shall continue until the first day of next month following graduation from high school or their nineteenth birthday, whichever shall sooner occur, pursuant to General Statutes § 46b-84(b).
It is the intention of this court that, except where terminated as set forth above, the amount of alimony shall be non-modifiable by the husband where the sole basis for the modification is the annual gross earnings of wife of $50,000.00 or less.
4. The husband shall promptly notify his employer as to the change of marital status and shall cooperate with the wife in obtaining continuation health insurance coverage as provided by state and federal law. The wife shall be responsible for the payment of any premiums due for such coverage.
5. The husband shall maintain and pay for health insurance for each of the minor children so long as he shall be obligated to pay child support for that child, including post-majority support pursuant to an educational support order or a written post-majority agreement. Unreimbursed medical, dental, orthodontic, optical, pharmaceutical, psychiatric, and psychological expenses for the minor child, shall be divided by the parties, 50% by the husband and 50% by the wife. The provisions of General Statutes § 46b-84(e) shall apply.
6. Pursuant to General Statutes § 46b-84(f), as and for security for his alimony and support obligations hereunder, the husband shall maintain the existing life insurance, both term and whole life, in the amount of $1,000,000.00, and shall name the wife and children as equal beneficiaries thereof for so long as he has an obligation to pay alimony and child support under the terms of this decree. In the event that his alimony obligation hereunder ceases, for whatever reason, he shall have the option to reduce his coverage, but he shall name each child as the beneficiary in the amount $250,000.00 for so long as he has an obligation to pay child support to that child under the terms of this decree. For purposes of the enforcement of this provision, a child support order shall include an educational support order pursuant to General Statutes § 46-56c or a written agreement of the parties for post-majority educational support.
7. As to the jointly-owned real estate at 50 Comstock Hill Road, New Canaan, Connecticut, within thirty (30) days from the date hereof, the wife shall convey her interest therein to the husband by means of a fully-executed Quit Claim Deed along with completed Conveyance Tax Forms. Thereafter, the husband shall have exclusive possession of the real estate and shall be responsible for the payment of all mortgages, liens, taxes, and insurance, and shall indemnify and hold the wife harmless from any further liability thereunder. Within one year from the date hereof, the husband shall take reasonable steps to remove the wife's name from the existing mortgages and liens. The court shall retain jurisdiction to implement the terms of this provision.
8. Personal property shall be divided as follows:
A. The parties have already divided their home furnishings and artwork, and the court makes no orders regarding same.
B. Each party shall be entitled to keep the automobile which they are currently driving, subject to any existing liens, loans, or leases, free and clear of any claims by the other, and each party shall cooperate with the other regarding the execution of any documentation necessary to transfer and/or register same. Specifically, the husband shall be entitled to the 2000 and 2011 BMWs, and the wife shall be entitled to the 2007 GMC Yukon.
C. Except as otherwise set forth herein, each party shall be entitled to keep their respective savings, checking, and money market accounts standing in their sole names, free and clear of any claims by the other.
D. The following joint assets shall be divided between the parties as follows:
(1) The joint bank accounts, including savings, checking, and money market, shall be closed and the proceeds divided equally;
(2) The stocks currently held in the investment account at Citibank (#XXXX7110) shall become the sole property of the husband, and the wife shall cooperate with the transfer of ownership thereto;
(3) The American Express Points shall become the sole property of the wife, and the husband shall cooperate with the transfer of ownership thereto;
E. The wife shall be entitled to retain the following items free and clear of any claims by the husband:
1. Her clothing and personal effects, including furs, watches, rings, and other jewelry.
2. Security deposit for rental;
3. 131 Shares of UBS; and
4. Her Bank of America World Points, Hilton Honors Points, and American Airlines Miles;
F. The husband shall be entitled to retain the following items free and clear of any claims by the wife:
1. His clothing and personal effects, including watches, rings, and other jewelry;
2. His burial plot;
3. His 1/6th interest in the family insurance trust; and
4. His whole life policy with Guardian, including any cash value therein, provided he shall make no further borrowing therefrom, unless the remaining life insurance in force after any such loan is in excess of his obligation hereunder to maintain a specific benefit payable to the wife and children.
9. The retirement assets of the parties shall be divided as follows:
A. AS TO THE CHARLES SCHWAB IRA: The wife shall retain her interest in the Charles Schwab Individual Retirement Account free and clear of any claims by the husband.
B. AS TO THE CITIBANK IRA: The wife shall retain her interest in the Citibank Individual Retirement Account free and clear of any claims by the husband.
C. AS TO THE CHAPMAN CUTLER § 401(K) PLAN: The husband shall retain his interest in the Chapman Cutler § 401(K) Plan free and clear of any claims by the wife.
D. AS TO THE SIDLEY AUSTIN LLP RETIREMENT PLANS:
Effective as of the date of this Memorandum of Decision, the retirement benefits, including the Sidley Austin Retirement Plan for Partners, the 1994 Sidley Austin Retirement Plan for Partners, and the Sidley Austin Cash Balance Plan (called herein collectively the "Sidley Plan") of the husband through his previous employer and vested and accrued as of the date of this Memorandum of Decision, shall be divided by means of a Qualified Domestic Relations Order ("QDRO") or a Domestic Relations Order ("DRO"), as the case may be, which shall be prepared by the husband's attorney, 40% to the husband and 60% to the wife. Unless the parties shall otherwise agree, where available, the husband shall elect a joint and survivor annuity, and in the event that the husband shall predecease the wife prior to drawing his pension, the wife shall be entitled to 100% of the survivor benefit vested and accrued as of the date of this Memorandum of Decision. The wife and her attorney shall be entitled to any and all information regarding the Sidley Plan necessary to the preparation and filing of the QDRO or DRO. The Court shall retain jurisdiction to deal with any issues which may arise with regard to the preparation and filing of the QDRO or the DRO and the division of the Sidley Plan.
10. The court hereby reserves jurisdiction to enter an educational support order pursuant to General Statutes § 46b-56c.
11. Except as otherwise set forth herein, the parties shall each be responsible for the debts as shown on their respective financial affidavits, and they shall indemnify and hold each other harmless from any further liability thereon. The foregoing notwithstanding, the husband shall be solely responsible for the Stein Dental bill and the Citibank Line of Credit.
12. Commencing with the calendar year 2010 and thereafter, the husband shall be entitled to the tax exemption for the minor child George Tricomi, and the wife shall be entitled to the exemption for the minor child Amalia Tricomi. Each shall promptly execute the necessary documentation and deliver same in a timely manner to the other for filing with the IRS and/or state taxing authority on an annual basis.
13. The husband shall contribute the sum of $15,000.00 toward the attorneys fees incurred by the wife herein. Payment shall be made in installments as follows: The first $5,000.00 on or before November 1, 2010; the second installment on or before January 1, 2011; and the final installment on or before March 1, 2011. Otherwise, each party shall be responsible for their respective attorneys fees and costs incurred in connection with this action.
14. The balance of any payments due and payable for tuition and fees for George Tricomi to attend Fairfield College Preparatory School ("Prep") for the academic year 2010/2011 shall be the sole responsibility of the husband. Thereafter, should the child continue with his studies at Prep, the parties shall share the cost of tuition and fees. The court will reserve jurisdiction to enter appropriate orders, if they are unable to agree upon their respective shares, or whether or not the child should continue to attend Prep.
14. The Court hereby orders an Contingent Wage Withholding Order pursuant to General Statutes § 52-362(b) in order to secure the payment of the alimony order, per the Advisement of Rights Form as on file with the court.
15. There having been a contested hearing at which the financial orders were in dispute, the financial affidavits of the parties are hereby unsealed per P.B. § 25-59A(h).
16. The Court hereby restores the birth name of the wife pursuant to General Statutes § 46b-63(a), to wit: MARY KATHERINE MARCON.
THE COURT
SCHEDULE A PARENTING PLAN
The undersigned parties hereby stipulate and agree as follows:
1. The Husband and Wife shall share joint legal custody of their minor children born of this marriage:
George Tricomi, date of birth September 7, 1995
Amalia Tricomi, date of birth November 25, 1996
The parenting plan is set forth as follows:
(a) The Wife shall have the children Monday morning through Wednesday morning drop-off at school, or at 3:00 p.m. in the event school is not in session.
(b) The Husband shall have the children from after school pickup on Wednesday afternoon until Friday morning drop-off at school, or at 3:00 p.m. in the event school is not in session. However, if the Husband cannot be available for the after school pickup, then the Wife shall pick up the children, if she is available, and she will have the children until the drop off at Husband's house at 6:30 p.m. If the Wife is not available to care for the children, the Husband shall be responsible to make appropriate arrangements for the children's care until he can pick them up.
(c) The parties shall alternate having the children with them on the weekend, which shall begin Friday after school and the Husband's weekend shall end on Sunday at 7:00 p.m.
(d) Holidays:
(1) If the children have early release or no school, the children shall be with the parent who is scheduled to have them for that day. However, if the parent scheduled to have the children is not available then, they will be in the care of the other parent, if that parent is available, until the parent who is scheduled to have the children picks them up. If the other parent is not available to care for the children, the parent who has the parenting time with the children shall be responsible to make appropriate arrangements for the children's care until he or she can pick them up. The following are exceptions:
(2) Easter: The parties agree to alternate the years that each shall have the children on Easter. The Wife shall have the children in even numbered years and the Husband shall have the children in odd numbered years. In the event Easter does not fall on the parent's regularly scheduled weekend, Easter shall be from the Saturday before Easter at 5:00 p.m. until Easter Day at 7:00 p.m.
(3) Thanksgiving: The parties agree to alternate the years that each shall have the children on Thanksgiving. The parent who does not have the children with them on Thanksgiving shall have the children on the Friday following Thanksgiving. In the year 2009, the Husband shall have the children on Thanksgiving Day and the Wife shall have them the Friday following Thanksgiving, subject to subparagraph (6), regarding birthdays, below. Thanksgiving shall run from after school the Wednesday immediately prior to Thanksgiving until 11:00 a.m. the Friday immediately after Thanksgiving. The Friday parenting time shall run from Friday at 11:00 a.m. until Saturday at 11:00 a.m., at which time the normal schedule shall resume.
(4) Christmas Eve/Day: The parties shall alternate Christmas Eve and Christmas Day each year. Christmas Eve shall be defined as being all day and evening on December 24th, but not overnight. Christmas Day shall be defined as overnight December 24th until the 11:00 a.m. on December 26th. The Wife shall have the children on Christmas Eve in even numbered years and the Husband shall have the Children on Christmas Eve in odd numbered years. The Wife shall have the children on Christmas Day in odd numbered years and the Husband shall have the children on Christmas Day in even numbered years.
(5) Christmas Vacation: Christmas Vacation shall be defined as beginning at 11:00 a.m. December 26th and ending on the morning that the children return to school in January. The parties agree to share equally the children's Christmas Vacation. The parent that is scheduled to have the children on Christmas Eve shall have the children for the first half of the Christmas Vacation and the parent who is scheduled to have the children on Christmas Day shall have the second half of the Christmas Vacation.
(6) Birthdays: The Husband shall have the children the weekend before or after each child's birthday. The Wife shall have the children overnight on the children's actual birthdays unless the children are with the Husband for his regularly scheduled weekend. The Wife and Husband shall each have the children with them on the Wife's and Husband's respective birthdays, or any date they so designate for their birthday celebration, which celebration (i.e. the alternate date to celebrate the birthday) shall not occur on the other parent's weekend. The parties agree to allow the children to celebrate the birthdays of the children's siblings and grandparents on those respective birthday celebration days.
(7) Mothers' Day: The Wife shall have the children every year on Mothers' Day. In the event Mother's Day does not occur on the Wife's regularly scheduled weekend, the children will be with her commencing Saturday at 9:00 p.m.
(8) Fathers' Day: The Husband shall have the children every year on Fathers' Day. In the event Father's Day does not occur on the Husband's regularly scheduled weekend, the children will be with him commencing Saturday at 9:00 p.m. until Sunday at 7:00 p.m.
(9) Graduations: The parties shall make a good faith effort to celebrate graduations together with the children.
(10) School Vacations: The February and April vacations (or otherwise as determined by the children's schools from year to year) shall be allocated as follows:
a. In the event the children have vacation during the same week, the parties shall alternate having said week of vacation, as they proceed year to year, which week shall include both the weekend before and the weekend after the school vacation. The Husband shall have the first such school vacation and the Wife shall have the second such school vacation, and thereafter they shall continue to alternate the vacations. As and by way of example, in the event both children have the April vacation off at the same time in 2010 and the next vacation they have off together is the February 2012 vacation, the Husband shall have the April 2010 vacation and the Wife shall have the February 2012 vacation. The parent who does not have the school vacation shall have the weekend either before or after the vacation which would be the other parent's in the usual rotation, the purpose being that neither party shall have three weekends in a row.
b. In the event the children have different vacations, the parties shall divide the vacation so that one parent has from Friday after school until Wednesday at noon and the other parent has Wednesday at noon until Sunday at 7:00 p.m. The week shall be allocated based upon the normal rotation of the alternating weekends, so that whichever parent has the first weekend will have the first part of the vacation week and whichever parent has the second weekend will have the second part of the vacation week.
(11) Summer Vacations: By April 1 of each year, commencing in 2010, the parties shall determine what summer camps the children will be attending. By April 15 of each year, the parties shall notify each other of which weeks they desire for vacation during the summer. In the event of a disagreement, the Wife shall have the first pick of weeks in even numbered years and the Husband shall have the first pick in odd numbered years. During summer vacation, except when a parent is on vacation with the children, the same weekly schedule described above in 1(a)-(c) for during the school year shall apply. The parties intend to remain flexible with regard to vacation time in the Summer and each party will be free to take the children away for up to two week-long vacations (or any shorter amount of time). A week-long vacation may include the weekend both before and after a vacation week. In the event the vacation includes the weekend before and after the vacation, the parent who does not have the vacation shall have the weekend either before or after the vacation which would be the other parent's in the usual rotation, the purpose being that neither party shall have three weekends in a row. The parties agree to give one another as much notice as possible when planning vacation time, and the parties agree to cooperate with one another when scheduling vacation time. For 2009, the parties shall notify each other by July 10 as to when they would like to take the children on vacation.
(e) While the parties continue to live together, the parent whose day it is with the children are responsible to get the children to and from their scheduled events and activities and the other parent shall not schedule activities or arrange individual activities with the children on the other parent's time. Each parent will vacate the home during the other parent's weekend parenting time from Saturday, 10:00 a.m. through Sunday at 7:00 p.m.
(f) Neither parent shall sleep in a bed or in the same room with either of the children nor will they permit the child to sleep in bed with them.
(g) Each parent shall be responsible for dropping off the children at the end of his or her parenting time, and both parties will remain flexible in this regard if emergencies or delays arise.
(h) Except as otherwise stated herein, each party shall be responsible for transporting the children to and from school on their respective days. Each party shall be responsible for making arrangements for care of the children if that party is unable to assume parenting responsibilities on his or her day.
(i) Each party shall first look to the other for assistance with childcare. A babysitter may be hired if there is an inability to care for the children during their parenting time, or a function or event that falls during one parent's parenting time at that parent's expense if the other party is unavailable for childcare. The parties also agree that if the children are left in the care of a third party for a period exceeding eight (8) working consecutive hours, then they will notify the other parent of such arrangement and provide contact information for third party to the other parent so that the other parent is reasonable informed of the children's whereabouts.
(j) Each of the parties agrees to keep the other informed at all times of the children's general whereabouts while with the Husband or Wife, including the telephone number, and agrees that if either has knowledge of any illness or accident or other circumstances seriously affecting the health or welfare of either of the children, the Husband or Wife, as the case may be, will promptly notify the other. Should a child be hospitalized or seriously ill, each parent shall allow the other reasonable access to and time with the child.
(k) To the fullest extent possible, the parties shall exert every reasonable effort to promote free access and unhampered contact between the children and each of the parties and to foster a feeling of affection between the children and the parties hereto. Each party shall exert his and her best efforts to refrain from doing anything to estrange the children from the other party, or to disparage the opinion of the children as to their mother or father, or to act in such a way as to hamper the free and natural development of love and respect between parent and children.
(l) If either parent needs to deviate from the parenting schedule, that parent shall give the other parent as much notice as possible, but no less than 72 hours notice of any request of change, absent an emergency situation. The schedule may be modified by mutual agreement of the parties.
(m) The parties shall have reasonable access to the children while they are with the other party, including free access by mail and free access by telephone, E-mail, text, and instant messaging, during reasonable hours of the day and evening.
(n) Both parties may attend any child-related sporting event, extracurricular activity, church, or school function to allow both parents to show support for the children.
(o) The parties shall not communicate through the children. Neither party shall discuss with the children any issues relating to the dissolution of the marriage or finances of the parties.
(p) Each party shall be entitled to complete and full information from every physician, therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, or similar professional attending to the children for any reason. Each party shall be entitled to complete and full information from every teacher and school giving instruction to the children. Each party shall furnish to the other copies of any such written reports or information concerning the health, education, or welfare of the children.
(q) Neither party shall schedule events and activities for the children on the other party's time with the children without first gaining prior approval of the other party.
(r) Any holiday or vacation set forth herein shall supersede any usual parental access schedule.
(s) The parties shall discourage the children and all other persons from referring to anyone other than the parties as the children's "Mom" or "Dad."