Opinion
CS18-01097 Petition 24-00019
10-01-2024
T. C. v. R. C.
LETTER DECISION AND ORDER
Dear Mr. C ___ and Ms. C ___:
On June 26, 2024, and July 2, 2024, the Court conducted hearings on the Petition to Modify Custody filed by T ___ C ___ ("Father") against R ___ C ___ ("Mother"). Participating in the hearings were Father, representing himself, and Mother, representing herself. This matter pertains to the parties' two minor children, V ______- C ___- ("V ___ "), born ___ ---, 2007, and I ___ C ___ ("I ___ "), born ___, ___, 2009 (collectively, "the children"). At the conclusion of the first day of the hearing, the Court scheduled interviews with V ___ and I ___. The Court conducted I ___ 's interview on July 2, 2024, and V ___ 's interview on July 17, 2024.
The parties' oldest child, E ___ C ___ ("E ___ "), born ___ ___-, 2005, is 18 years of age and is no longer subject to this Court's jurisdiction.
During the hearing, the Court heard testimony from both parties and reserved its ruling on the matter.
Procedural History
Although the Court incorporates by reference the entire procedural history of this case, it will provide a brief overview for ease of reference.
The parties are married but have been separated since Thanksgiving 2017. On December 12, 2018, the parties entered into a Consent Order for Custody and Visitation ("2018 Consent Order") wherein Mother would have sole custody and primary placement of the children. She and the children would continue to reside in the family home. Father had weekly visitation every Sunday from 11:00am to 8:00pm but could request extended visits with the children if he notified Mother two weeks in advance, provided that the parties agreed on transportation and the location and length of the visit. The parties would divide holidays by mutual agreement but reserved Mother's Day and Father's Day for each respective parent.
On January 2, 2024, Father filed a Motion and Affidavit for Emergency Ex Parte Order, requesting sole custody of the children. He alleged that the children were left to stay with neighbors following the foreclosure of the family home in August 2023. According to Father, the children experienced grief, depression, and anxiety as a result of the foreclosure. By Order dated January 2, 2024, the Court denied Father's request for emergency ex parte relief and scheduled a priority hearing for January 31, 2024.
At the priority hearing, Father requested sole legal custody of the children and a visitation schedule "that worked for everyone." He proposed that Mother have visitation one day every weekend. Mother requested joint legal custody and shared residency.
The Court conducted interviews with V ___ and I ___ on February 7, 2024. Following the conclusion of the children's interviews, the Court announced its decision on the record in the presence of Mother and Father. A written Order ("Interim Custody Order") was issued on February 27, 2024. The Court ordered joint legal custody of the children and awarded primary residency to Father. Mother was granted weekend visitation with the children on either Saturday or Sunday from 11:00am to 7:00pm. Additionally, Mother was awarded dinner contact with the children on Wednesday evenings.
On February 22, 2024, Father filed a Motion to "Stop Electrical and Driver's License Suspension" and a Motion to Revoke Child Support. Father requested that the Court stop the suspension of his driver's license and revoke child support retroactive to December 2023, when the children began living with him. By Order dated February 28, 2024, the Court revoked Father's child support obligation retroactive to January 2, 2024, and ordered the Department of Child Support Services ("DCSS") to cease and desist in their efforts to suspend Father's license.
On Father's Motion to Revoke Child Support, he alleged that the children were removed from Mother's care and placed in Father's care on November 1, 2023.
On April 8, 2024, the parties participated in mediation regarding the petition to modify custody but were unable to resolve matters. Father maintained that he wanted sole legal custody and primary residency of the children, while Mother wanted joint legal custody and shared residency.
On May 7, 2024, the Court held a virtual case management conference on the underlying petition to modify custody. Mother requested additional visitation during the summer months. She informed the Court that the children's rooms were completed in her home and that she was still primarily responsible for their transportation to medical appointments. Father did not oppose Mother's request. Mother expressed concern with Father's response, alleging that he made similar statements in the past and then "change[d] his mind." Both parties informed the Court that they would be representing themselves at the upcoming custody hearing. At the conclusion of the case management conference, the Court granted Mother more visitation with the children during the summer if the children desired more time.
The Court conducted this hearing on June 26, 2024. By the conclusion of the June 26th hearing, the Court had not received all of Mother's testimony. On July 2, 2024, the court completed the custody modification hearing, and I ___ was interviewed following the hearing. The Court was unable to interview V ___ on July 2nd as her arrival from her school trip to Florida was delayed. V ___ 's interview was successfully conducted on July 17, 2024.
Factual Background
Father is 42 years old and resides at ___, ___ in ___, Delaware. He has lived at this home with the children since approximately December 26, 2023. Father previously worked at ___ ___ ___ (" ___ ") as an electrical apprentice. Now, Father does freelance electrical work. In his spare time, Father plays music at various venues to earn extra income. Father continues to attend ___, ___ Adult Education program classes on Tuesday and Thursday evenings.
Mother is 44 years old and resides at ___ ___ ___ in ______, Delaware. She has lived at this home since October 2023, following the foreclosure of the family home. She works full-time as a salesperson at the ___ ___ Garden Center ("Garden Center") in ___, Delaware, where she earns $15.90 per hour.
The family home was foreclosed on August 2023. Prior to foreclosure, Mother lived in the family home with the children pursuant to the 2018 Custody Order. It is undisputed that Mother and Father agreed that Father would pay the mortgage on the family home in lieu of child support. Father acted in accordance with this agreement until 2019 when he stopped making payments. As a result of Father's failure to pay the mortgage, Mother petitioned for child support. In September 2020 Father was ordered to pay child support retroactive to May 2020. Mother testified that there was never a period when Father paid child support and the mortgage. She further testified that if Father had made either child support or mortgage payments, the house would not have been foreclosed. Following the foreclosure Mother moved into her current residence and the children each moved in with a respective friend. When Father learned where the children were residing, he found a home in December 2023 that could accommodate the children. Prior to this time, Father did not have housing for V ___ and I ___.
E ___ is 18 years old, V ___ is 17 years old, and I ___ is 15 years old. E ___ resides with Father. V ___ and I ___ attend ___ ___ High School (" ___ ___ "). V ___ is in 12th grade, and I ___ is in 10th grade.
Legal Standard
Pursuant to 13 Del. C. § 729(b), a previous "order entered by the Court by consent of all parties . . . concerning the legal custody of a child or such child's residence may be modified at any time by the Court in accordance with the standards set forth in § 722 of this title.", The Court's legal custody and residency determination shall be "consistent with the child's best interests and maturity, which is designed to permit and encourage the child to have frequent and meaningful contact with both parents unless the Court finds, after a hearing, that contact of the child with 1 parent would endanger the child's physical health or significantly impair his or her emotional development."
13 Del. C. § 729(b); On June 21, 2010, the parties entered into a Custody and Visitation Stipulation and Order. Neither custody nor visitation have been modified since this issuance of the original order.
Pursuant to 13 Del. C. § 722, The Court shall determine the legal custody and residential arrangements for a child in accordance with the best interests of the child. In determining the best interests of the child, the Court shall consider all relevant factors, including:
(1) The wishes of the child's parent or parents as to his or her custody and residential arrangements;
(2) The wishes of the child as to his or her custodian or custodians and residential arrangements;
(3) The interaction and interrelationship of the child with his or her parents, grandparents, siblings, persons cohabiting in the relationship of husband and wife with a parent of the child, any other residents of the household or persons who may significantly affect the child's best interests;
(4) The child's adjustment to his or her home, school and community;
(5) The mental and physical health of all individuals involved;
(6) Past and present compliance by both parents with their rights and responsibilities to their child under § 701 of this title;
(7) Evidence of domestic violence as provided for in Chapter 7A of this title; and
(8) The criminal history of any party or any other resident of the household including whether the criminal history contains pleas of guilty or no contest or a conviction of a criminal offense.
Discussion
(1) The wishes of the child's parent or parents as to his or her custody and residential arrangements;
Father seeks sole legal custody and primary placement of the children. He argued that an award of sole legal custody was necessary because Mother had not provided the children with required documents for employment and scholarships, they had poor school attendance under her care, and he offered a stable environment for them. Further, Father argued that he wanted the children to "feel like they can come home to a peaceful place with a single person who helps make decisions with them[.]" He emphasized that he has requested sole legal custody of the children so that "if there are any legal or medical situations, [Mother] cannot try to take advantage of the situation or cry wolf." By the end of the hearing, Father contended that the children living with Mother, even part time, would be devastating.
During the hearing, Father consistently voiced apprehension about the prospect of the children residing primarily with Mother. His concerns centered on Mother's emotional stability, V ___ and I ___'s academic performance, and the overall well-being and mental health of the children during their previous time residing with Mother.
Father asserted that he filed for emergency custody because of Mother's behavior and the children's experiences during the loss of the home, including temporarily living with friends while Mother looked for suitable housing after the foreclosure. Father testified that he did not know the homes where the children were residing after foreclosure, nor was he given an opportunity to provide help once the house was foreclosed on. He filed his petition based on Mother's inability to secure housing for herself and the children. Father indicated that he believed Mother intended to leave the children in temporary placements indefinitely. He added that the situation became emergent because of I ___'s declining mental health due to his living arrangements.
When asked his opinion on the amount of time Mother should have if the Court awarded primary custody to Father, he testified, "[w]ell, for the history being that I had one day a week with them for six years, I guess the flip side of that would be [the children] getting one weekend day with her." When the Court inquired whether Father believed this arrangement was appropriate simply because it was what he had experienced, Father responded that he "did not see it that way." He explained that the children, now teenagers, are involved in numerous activities, and scheduling more than one day a week of visitation might conflict with their schedules. He added that this was the schedule they had grown accustomed to over time.
Mother requests joint legal custody and shared placement of the children, asserting that the arrangement would benefit V ___ and I ___ because it would permit both parents to create memories and provide support. She emphasized the importance of the children's emotional stability, believing that the active involvement of both parents would better promote their overall well-being. While preferring equal shared placement, Mother was amenable to some flexibility, proposing the children stay from Thursday through Saturday due to Father's musical obligations or an alternate week schedule.
Mother acknowledged that the children currently prefer living with Father. However, she argued that their perception of their living situation with her had been influenced by Father's past abusive behavior toward her and his emotional manipulation of the children following the parties' separation.
Mother believed Father's desire for sole custody stemmed more from a desire to keep them away from her rather than concern for the children's welfare. She argued that Father desired custody of the children without fully understanding the responsibilities of parenthood. As evidence, she pointed out that after the Interim Custody Order was issued, she continued to be the one responsible for taking V ___ to the doctor despite Father living just five minutes from a late-night walk-in medical center. This, in her view, indicated that Father wanted custody of the children but was unwilling to take on the associated caregiving responsibilities.
(2) The wishes of the child as to his or her custodian or custodians and residential arrangements;
During I ___ 's interview, he stated that he wanted to continue to live with Father and to visit with Mother. V ___ made similar representations during her interview but noted that she would not like overnight visits with Mother.
Throughout his testimony, Father stated that the children prefer to live primarily with him. He testified that they feel unsafe under Mother's care and believe their needs are not being met. Father described Mother's history of uncleanliness of the family home and mentioned previous instances by Mother of aggressive behavior towards the children. He also cited power struggles, manipulation, mind games, and a lack of structure and discipline as issues the children faced while in Mother's custody.
Mother testified that at some point last year, I ___ informed her that he would like to live with her and Father equally. Since then, Mother believed that Father had "turned up the emotional manipulation," resulting in the children's preference to reside primarily with Father. As an example, Mother stated that I ___ recently expressed to her that he wanted to spend three consecutive nights with her. Then, unexpectedly, I ___ told Mother that he would only see her during their weekend visit but not spend overnight. Similarly, Mother testified that that during her conversations with V ___ about decorating V ___'s room, V ___ would initially engage enthusiastically. However, these positive responses would abruptly shift, with V ___ expressing frustration towards Mother and emphasizing how she now resides with Father.
Mother acknowledged the importance of considering the children's desires but expressed concern that Father's alleged emotional manipulation might influence their wishes. She admitted that the children feel they are making up for lost time while living with Father but emphasized they do not fully grasp Father's role in the separation. Mother believed that as adults, the children would reflect on the situation and recognize that Father's actions were not justified. She testified that granting Father sole legal custody and primary residency would deeply affect the children. Mother expressed a desire to shield them from feeling like they unwittingly played a role in the separation without understanding the extent of Father's abusive behavior.
I ___ and V ___ confirmed during their interviews that they would follow the Court's Order.
(3) The interaction and interrelationship of the child with his or her parents, grandparents, siblings, persons cohabiting in the relationship of husband and wife with a parent of the child, any other residents of the household or persons who may significantly affect the child's best interests;
Father described his relationship with V___ and I ___ as "solid" and "very good." He referred to himself as their "main confidant" and stated that he helps them with their struggles and disciplines them appropriately. Father stated that aside from his children, his family consists of his mother, who lives in ___, Pennsylvania, and his brother, who also lives in Pennsylvania.
Father testified that E ___ continues to reside in his home and all of the children get along well. Aside from the regular sibling bickering, E ___, V ___, and I ___ spend frequent time together.
Mother sees the children twice a week pursuant to the Interim Custody Order. Mother testified that the children have spent overnights at her current residence and that she texts V ___ about bedroom décor and furnishings that she may be interested in for her home. Mother briefly noted that her relationship with E ___ has improved. She shared that E ___ had recently texted her and that she had a pleasant interaction with him at his recent concert.
According to Mother, Father's mood and behaviors have heavily impacted the children's perception of her. Mother believed that Father taught the children that she was an inadequate parent. Because she was responsible for making dinner each night, she explained that Father would occasionally praise her meal preparation, but he would frequently mock her, make fun of her cooking, or yell at her over the meal. Mother stated that she "lived for years" being subject to Father's mood swings. Mother described Father's negative behavior as "being in a bipolar cycle."
Mother became emotional when describing E ___'s behavior after Father left the home. According to Mother, E ___ berated and intimidated her and attempted to break down her bedroom door. When Mother transported the children, she frequently needed to pull the vehicle over because E ___ would repeatedly punch the back of Mother's headrest. Mother believed that E ___ was "distraught" and blamed her for the parties' separation. According to Mother, E ___ admitted to Sun Behavioral that he physically attacked I ___. Mother believed that the family had "lived for years with [Father's] instability" and that E ___ had learned a lot of Father's behavioral patterns.
According to Father, E ___ does not want to continue his relationship with Mother, but Father encourages him to do so. Father was confused why Mother testified that she has a good relationship with E ___ when E ___ previously represented to him that he is afraid of her. Given E ___ 's age, the court did not interview him at the conclusion of the custody hearing.
During I ___'s interview with the Court, he described his overall relationship with Mother as "good" but that it can also be "iffy" at times. He stated his relationship with Father was "good." V ___ explained during her interview that the relationship between her and Mother had not been doing well and referred to Mother as "unstable." V ___ believed that Mother loved her but felt that it was difficult for Mother to express her love. She described her relationship with Father as positive and noted that they get along well.
(4) The child's adjustment to his or her home, school and community;
V ___ and I ___ are in the 12th and 10th grades, respectively, at ___ ___ High School (" ___ ___ "). They both participate in the school's marching band, and V ___ is also involved in the Technology Student Association ("TSA"). I ___ enjoys playing music outside of school and recently played at ___ ___ in Milton. I ___ primarily plays guitar, but he also enjoys playing the drums. I ___ has access to guitars and a drum kit at Father's house. I ___ also has a guitar at Mother's house and Mother is working to provide him a drum kit.
Mother offered to pay I ___ to mow the lawn at the same rate that she would pay her previous landscaper. V ___ looked into summer employment opportunities at McDonald's; however, she was unable to secure a job due to miscommunication among the restaurant managers.
During her interview with the Court, V ___ recounted her recent trip to Florida with TSA. She enjoyed completing the fashion design and video production challenges. After graduation, V ___ would like to enroll in an aviation program in Pennsylvania, close to her paternal grandmother's home. V ___ would like to be a commercial pilot and do fashion design on the side. V ___ confirmed Mother's testimony regarding her attempted employment at McDonald's.
Since their relocation on December 26, 2023, Father described the children's adjustment to his home as "exciting and good." He testified that the children are "now spoiled" since he provides "an orderly environment, support, and food." Father's home is in a development called ___ ___, and each child has their own bedroom. During his interview, I ___ stated that he liked living at Father's home because there were more musical instruments and V ___ and E ___ were there. I ___ also noted that there are more places for him to ride his bicycle at Father's home, including a possible employment opportunity located five minutes from Father's house. Father's current rent is $2,500 per month, which he attributed to the ___ ___ location of the home. Father acknowledged that his current residence is temporary.
Father had concerns about Mother's residence. According to Father, Mother's home does not have a permanent address as it is a converted garage. He stated that "[i]f it were a residence, it would have a 'B number' or something. It would have its own mailing address and mailbox. It's an outbuilding. It's a garage." Father alleged Mother's home does not have proper insulation and is not equipped with full appliances. In addition to referring to the property as "messy and dirty," Father testified that there is a significant presence of animals on the property, comparing it to that of a commercial petting zoo.
Mother believed that Father's allegations were outdated, as she had made many improvements since January and February. Father acknowledged that Mother had made improvements but argued that the children were unable to visit Mother's home for "a very long time" following the Interim Custody Order. Father admitted that Mother had furnished her home and that it was a pleasant place, but the children continue to tell him that the home "does not feel like a house" and that they "do not feel comfortable living there."
Mother argued that she and Father have similar housing situations: each child has their own room, but the parent stays in the living room. Mother described her home as a two-bedroom apartment, with the two bedrooms located on top of the garage. V ___ 's room has a double bed, a large dresser, a desk, and a walk-in closet. In I ___ 's room, there is a twin bed, a dresser, and a desk. She mentioned that she purchased clothing for V ___ and I ___ so that they would not have to transfer clothing between households if the Court were to award shared residency.
Mother's living room area has an open floor plan joining the living room and kitchen. She testified that she has running water, a full-size stove, a full-size refrigerator, and a microwave. Mother does not sleep in the children's rooms when they are not there. At night, she converts the living room into her bedroom and uses the fold-out couch. She has no immediate intentions of dating and does not have overnight guests.
Mother's rent is $500 per month, which is a reduced rate due to the improvements she made to the apartment. Mother would like to remain at this residence long term. Recently, with I ___ 's help, Mother opened the owner's pool for the summer. She is well acquainted with the owner of the property, and the two have discussed opening a small co-op on the grounds. There are three goats on the property cared for by the owner. The goats have their own barn and are fenced in. Mother stated that the children have been excited to feed the goats when they visit her.
During the period between the parties' separation and Father's relocation to his current residence, Father testified that he moved fourteen times and was occasionally homeless or forced to sleep in his car. Father only lived in his car when he was between places and never lived there on a long-term basis. Due to the foreclosure, Father experienced a significant decline in his credit score, and he was unable to rent from "someplace legitimate." The home that Father is currently leasing was made possible by a friend who offered him a private lease.
Father confirmed that despite currently living outside of ___ ___'s school district, the children's school choice was approved, and Delaware Area Rapid Transit ("DART") would continue to provide transportation for the children through their respective graduation dates.
Mother testified that while the children lived with her, V___ was a good student. She noted that I ___ regularly struggled to complete his work and that his struggles increased as he progressed through school. In her belief, V ___ had not failed a marking period until this year, but I ___ had failed classes several times.
Father testified that the children are overall performing better at school since living in his primary care. Mother inquired about the children's respective failures during the fourth marking period, noting that V ___ failed chemistry and I ___ failed math. Father acknowledged the children's failing grades and stated that he was confused by their grades as he had worked with them on weeknights and weekends. I ___ has since completed summer school to make up for the class that he failed.
Father alleged that in Mother's care, the children were at risk of being held back for truancy. Father testified that the children used to be late or miss school one to five times each week, but now, they do not miss any school. Mother argued that the children were not truant but acknowledged that they had missed school due to illness. Father indicated that he believed V ___ and I ___ 's low grades and attendance were due to their placement with Mother. Father did not provide report cards or attendance records to corroborate his claims.
When Mother asked Father what he had used to determine that the children were doing better in school, Father testified that he had received reports that the children were doing better "overall," noting that their in-class participation and general engagement increased. Father testified that during his meeting with I ___ ___'s counselor, K ______ M ___, she repeatedly insisted that I ___ was doing much better than before in Father's care and that the difference was "evident." Father stated his intention to be "one hundred percent involved" in the children's schooling.
Mother testified that Father has never attended any parent-teacher conferences. He explained that he had not because of his work schedule, claiming he was constantly working. Mother has regularly attended the children's parent-teacher conferences. The last time Father went to ___ ___ was after I ___'s altercation and for I ___ 's most recent Individualized Education Plan ("IEP") meeting. Mother also attended the IEP meeting.
I ___ was recently a victim of an altercation at school. Toward the end of the last school year, I ___ observed another student looking at a picture of a gun on his phone. Frightened, I ___ reported this to the school's administration. I ___ was permitted to stay at home following the incident. ___ ___ assured Father that they would speak to the student involved and isolate him for the remainder of the school year. When I ___ returned to school, he was attacked by the student. The student was suspended, and I ___ was able to finish the school year. I ___ was not seriously injured, and no criminal charges were brought against the student.
During his interview, I ___ shared that he believed he failed math because of the "whole situation." He stated that while living with Mother, he was "down in the dumps" and that the foreclosure and relocation to his friend's house caused him stress. After I ___ left his friend's home, he moved into the home where V ___ was staying. When Father was able to obtain housing for the children, "everything went up." I ___ stated that although his grades improved in his other classes, he failed math because he struggled with the subject throughout the year and could not catch up.
During her interview, V ___ explained that she failed fourth marking period chemistry because she was not used to studying for a challenging class. She believed that she was disciplined enough not to make that mistake in the future. She clarified that although she failed the marking period, she passed the course overall.
(5) The mental and physical health of all individuals involved;
Father regarded his health as "fair," noting that his stress level has increased in the last six months. He has anxiety about having to work extensively to pay for his expenses. Father is seeking Medicaid so that he can begin scheduling doctor's appointments for himself to assess his general health and address some concerns regarding his family history of heart disease and diabetes.
Mother has no concerns regarding her physical health but reported that she had recently taken antibiotics. As to her emotional health, Mother testified that she has felt "distraught" over these proceedings and attends weekly therapy.
V ___ is in good physical and mental health. I ___ is also in good health and is receiving psychiatric treatment for an attention-related disorder. Father noted that both children gained weight after moving into his home and that they enjoy doing physical activities with him, such as rollerblading, skateboarding, and walking in the neighborhood.
As of the first hearing date, I ___ completed his first therapy session, as scheduled by Mother. Father stated that I ___ would be seeing a psychiatrist soon to discuss medication options to treat his attention-related disorder in preparation for the new school year. V ___ was not currently in therapy but was looking to resume therapy following her school trip to Florida. Mother testified that V ___ engaged with a therapist during the school year, but V ___ told her that she did not find the therapist helpful.
During her interview, V ___ stated that she engaged with her school therapist but also relied on Father for emotional support. She explained that she had previously seen therapist L ___ S ___ ("Ms. S ___ "), whom she regarded as her mother. However, Mother terminated their counseling sessions because she believed that V ___ was lying to Ms. S ___. V ___ maintained that she had not lied to Ms. S ___ .
Mother testified that she previously discussed the topic of involving the children in therapy with Father. However, she alleged that Father would tell the children that Mother would use the therapist against him. Though Mother had not heard Father expressly make this statement, after Mother found a therapist for I ___, V ___ asked her, "[i]s the therapist for you, or a therapist for I ___?" Nonetheless, Mother believed that the children should engage in individual therapy.
Father denied Mother's accusations of manipulating the children's views on therapy. On the contrary, he argued that the children believed their mother had interfered with their therapy sessions. According to Father, Mother invited herself to attend I ___ 's individual therapy session. Mother responded that she attended the first meeting because the therapist had questions for her and wanted to get a sense of I ___ 's school life and goals from her perspective.
Family Therapy
Mother testified that while the family was intact, she "begged" Father to participate in family therapy, but to no avail. Following the parties' separation in 2018, Mother, Father, and the children began family therapy. Mother stated that there were several sessions when E ___ used the hour to "scream, yell, and rant" about her. Mother suggested to the family therapist that the sessions may be more stress-inducing than helpful, and the family therapist agreed. Mother believed that there were times when the family was making progress, but there were more sessions where progress was hindered and caused more harm than good.
Conversely, Father testified that Mother would not participate in therapy with him or the children because she believed that he would manipulate the therapist and the children against her. According to Father, the therapist called him and said that she did not believe that the family therapy sessions were "going anywhere."
After receiving approval from the therapist to pause sessions, Mother sought individual therapy for the children. I ___ tried therapy but eventually informed Mother that he was no longer interested. V ___ continued with therapy. Mother became concerned when V ___ began referring to her therapist as her "other mom." V ___ had started telling Mother that she wished someone else was her mother. For example, when Father began dating his former girlfriend, V---- told Mother that she was happy because Father's girlfriend could be her other mother. According to Mother, when V ___ found out that Father's girlfriend was pregnant, Father told V---- that she would have a new baby brother or sister and that she was "going to have a new mom." After relaying this conversation to Mother, V ___ returned a few weeks later to tell Mother that the baby might not be Father's. Soon thereafter, the girlfriend miscarried. Mother thought that it was "a lot" to put a child through emotionally. Father maintained that his girlfriend was never pregnant, and V ___ knew his girlfriend was never pregnant.
Mental Health
Mother indicated that Father told her that he had bipolar disorder. Father testified that Mother "manufactured" a bipolar disorder diagnosis for him. Father explained that Mother had concocted the concept that Father was unstable; Mother would provoke Father for the purpose of recording him when he would raise his voice, become frustrated, or slam things on the table.
Mother was unsure whether Father had a formal diagnosis because he gave her conflicting answers over the years. To her knowledge, Father was previously prescribed medication to treat bipolar disorder as a teen, but he stopped the medication because he did not like it.
The Court asked Father whether he had ever been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Father explained that his older brother had been diagnosed with Bipolar 2 in high school. As a result of his brother's diagnosis, Father was evaluated by a psychiatrist. Father was not formally diagnosed but was given medications to treat his mood swings and an attention-related disorder. Father stated that the medication did not help, so he stopped both.
Prior to the parties' separation, and at the request of Mother, Father asked his psychiatrist, Dr. S ___ S ___ ("Dr. S ___"), to try medication. Dr. S ___ conducted an intake with Father, and Father answered that he suffered from mood swings, anxiety and frequent frustration. Father believed those feelings were conditional to his situation at home. Father briefly took medication but stopped as he did not like the side effects. He did not believe that he ever received a formal diagnosis and that since the parties' separation, he had not experienced similar levels of frustration or anxiety. Father testified that he engages in mindfulness therapy with C ___ B ___ and that he has integrated a homeopathic treatment, which includes nature, yoga, mindfulness, and work discipline. Father did not believe he needed a psychiatric evaluation because only Mother told him he needed help, alleging that Mother focused on his mental health to victimize herself.
Father believes that Mother has "borderline personality disorder with dissociative mania", although he did not claim to be an expert. He stated that when Mother faces any level of confrontation, she cannot take accountability for her actions and deflects blame to others. Father alleged that Mother has "episodes" once a week. The children have informed Father that they feel unsafe when Mother is in an episode. Father testified that when Mother is acting "normal, or appropriately," the children call her "Mom," but when she is acting "symptomatic," they call her "R ___."
Substance Use
On the second day of the hearing Father alleged that in the past V ___ had witnessed Mother smoking crack with a mutual friend. Father's primary concern was that he did not want the children around this person because Mother would spend time "going off and doing drugs" with them. Mother questioned if Father recently smoked marijuana with the friend and Father responded affirmatively. Father stated that he remembered Mother "doing drugs, passing out, convulsing, and throwing up after drinking vodka for months." He suspected that Mother was also under the influence of other illicit substances, but because she did not smoke, he assumed she was ingesting pills.
Father did not raise any concerns regarding Mother and illicit substance abuse at the priority hearing or at the first day of the custody hearing when he presented his case. The Court questioned Father about his allegations regarding Mother's illicit substance use and why the issue had not been raised prior to this hearing. Father replied that he did not make the allegation earlier because he did not have documented proof other than what he had personally witnessed. Father testified that he had seen Mother at certain intoxication levels but did not include this claim in his filing for Emergency Ex Parte Custody. Father stated that Mother would have just denied the allegation, that she has kept that behavior well hidden, and that he "did not want to bring up something super inflammatory."
Father acknowledged that he had a drinking problem at the priority hearing but then stated that he meant that he had used alcohol in the past. Mother questioned whether Father remembered telling the children that he had an alcohol problem but that he would stop drinking; Father did not recall this conversation. Father testified that he casually uses marijuana.
(6) Past and present compliance by both parents with their rights and responsibilities to their child under § 701 of this title;
Pursuant to 13 Del. C. § 701, parents are responsible for the support, care, nurture, welfare, and education of their children. Father testified that his communication with Mother was "limited," and Mother described her communication with Father as feeling like "it's never good enough."
Child Support
It was undisputed that following the entry of the 2018 Custody Order, the parties agreed that Mother would not file for child support if Father continued to make monthly mortgage payments, reasoning that the child support obligation would be equivalent to that of the mortgage. Father testified that the parties memorialized the agreement with counsel. Subsequently, Father honored this agreement until he stopped making mortgage payments at some point in 2019. As a result, Mother proceeded with her petition for child support. In September 2020, after a hearing, Father was ordered to pay Mother $946.00 per month in child support retroactive to May 2020. In addition to his current monthly child support obligation, Father was responsible for $94.00 per month payment towards his child support arrears. Father's monthly child support obligation totaled $1,040.00.
Father failed to make several monthly payments, partially or in full, since the issuance of the child support order. As a result, his business license and driver's license were suspended. Around the time the child support order was issued, the family home went into forbearance. When Father's child support obligation began, he asked Mother to sign a lease so that the mortgage could continue to be paid, but Mother declined as the home was then in forbearance. Father believed that Mother "double-dipped" when she filed for child support, as her expenses had not increased.
The Court inquired whether Father made regular child support payments while the home was in forbearance. Father testified that he was making payments as he was able but that he was behind and unable to make full payments each month. When asked why he could not make child support payments when he had been relieved of his mortgage obligation as a result of the forbearance, Father responded that he had been in financial recovery "for a long time." Consequently, he was unable to make child support payments during the forbearance period. Father testified that after forbearance was over, he made regular child support payments. However, when it seemed as though the family home was heading toward foreclosure, Father paid less child support to save money in case he needed cash to have a house.
After being contacted by Department of Child Support Services ("DCSS"), Mother informed DCSS that she and Father had come to an agreement that Father would pay the mortgage in lieu of child support. Once Father had fallen behind on this obligation, Mother was contacted again by DCSS to "check in" on the party's arrangement. She relayed to DCSS that Father had not been paying the mortgage. Mother was unsure of exactly when Father had stopped making mortgage payments. Mother testified that there was never a period when Father paid both the mortgage and child support.
On June 27, 2024, the Court requested and received an audit report from DCSS regarding Father's child support payments and arrears. Pursuant to Delaware Family Court Civil Rule 44.2, the Court made the report known to the parties and there were no objections. The audit reflected that Father did not pay child support from May 2020, when the order began, through April 2021. In May 2021 and June 2021, Father paid $250.00 and $1,350.00, respectively. He did not make another payment that year. In February 2022, after a petition for child support arrears had been filed by Mother, Father's monthly arrearage payment was increased from $94.00 to $189.00 per month, totaling his monthly obligation to $1,135.00.
Pursuant to Del. Fam. Ct. Civ. R. 44.2, "The Court shall make known to all parties or their attorneys the existence of any reports or other information not offered by the parties which it intends to consider in reaching a decision and an opportunity to examine the same. If there is no objection or if any objection is overruled, the reports and/or other information shall be admitted into evidence, subject to subparagraph (b)."
DCSS records are "presumptive of payment or nonpayment" of support. 13 Del. C. § 513(c)(4).
In March 2022, Father paid a total of $1,135.00. In May 2022, a capias was issued with the purge amount of $567.50 against Father for his failure to appear for a hearing scheduled for May 9, 2022, and for his failure to pay child support in April 2022. Father paid the capias and his support obligation from April and May 2022.
On October 24, 2022, Mother and DCSS filed a petition for child support arrears, alleging that Father owed $21,923.92 and that his last payment was made on May 11, 2022. On December 8, 2022, the parties consented to Father owing $22,491.92 in child support arrears. An income attachment was issued for $635.00 per month. Further, Father was ordered to pay $2,270.00 by December 31, 2022, and a payment of the same amount on January 30, 2023, or he would be incarcerated. Father made a $4,540.00 payment in December 2022, a $2,270.00 payment in January 2023, a $2,270.00 payment in March 2023, and a $1,270.00 in May 2023. From July 2023 through December 2023, Father made monthly payments of $635.00, which are believed to be a result of the income attachment.
On February 22, 2024, Father filed a motion to revoke his child support obligation because the children began living with him. The Court granted his motion, and Father's child support obligation was revoked retroactive to January 2024. Since the revocation, Father has made two $200.00 payments toward his arrears balance. As of June 27, 2024, Father owed $21,919.00 in child support arrears.
Mother maintained that she did not discuss Father's child support obligation and his failure to pay his obligation with the children. She believed that Father would weaponize child support against her by talking to the children about it. From her perspective, Father would complain about child support when he was not paying it. Mother believed V___ ___ 's therapist tried to explain to V ___ that Father's child support obligation was "normal," but V ___ was too emotionally heightened to understand fully. Mother acknowledged that the child support order has since been revoked. However, if she were presented with an opportunity to reinstate child support, she would decline because she believed that it would be "better for [the children's] mental health" for them not to have to "go through this strain."
Mother testified that Father has lamented over his child support obligation to the children for years and has taught them that paying child support is not a duty to be honored. She stated that the children deserve to be supported and have a roof over their heads.
The Court inquired whether Father ever indicated to the children that he was displeased about having to pay child support. Father responded, "yes." He explained that he told the children that the obligation was "too hard" but that he "never framed it in a way that blame[d] [Mother] for it." When the Court asked Father to clarify whether he spoke specifically with children about his child support obligation, Father stated that "they were aware" because they had witnessed his struggle to make payments. According to Father, the children became curious as to why Father was living between his car and several residences.
According to Mother, an additional motivator for Father in requesting sole legal custody is to "get back at [her] for the portion of the child support that he did pay." The Court asked Father whether he resented paying child support. Father testified, "[i]t was a major wrongdoing." He explained that "[t]he same government that was bailing [him] out from having to pay [his mortgage]" contemporaneously required him to pay over $1,000.00 a month in child support, which he believed was imputed from an income that did not exist.
Father argued that Mother filed for child support upon being inaccurately informed that his then-girlfriend was pregnant. Father alleged that he was not dating the woman in question at the time of the rumored pregnancy, nor did he know how Mother learned of the pregnancy. Father denied that V ___ could have told Mother that his girlfriend was pregnant, as V ___ knew that the woman was not pregnant. Father then asserted that Mother had engaged in "paranoid thinking."
Father asked Mother why she filed for child support when her "bills did not go up." Mother testified that she was confused by Father's question, as he had stopped paying the mortgage, and the mortgage had to be paid. Mother stated that the forbearance allowed the parties to put off payment for a finite period but that paying towards the mortgage during forbearance was necessary or else they would be unable to "catch up" after the period was over. Father testified that he understood that once forbearance had ended, the mortgage would need to be paid. However, he was preoccupied with satisfying the "seven months of fictitious child support arrears and the five months of child support that [he] was trying to stay current on."
The Court inquired whether Father ever made a mortgage payment after child support was established. First, Father responded that he was unable to make a mortgage payment because it would have required the parties to attend "mediation" in order for him to submit a payment. Then, Father confirmed that he did not make a mortgage payment after receiving the child support order, regardless of whether the home was in forbearance.
Former Family Home
It was undisputed that the former family home was foreclosed on in June 2023, which required Mother to find alternative housing for herself and the children. Father testified that the loss of the home "had a lot to do with just not being able to communicate with [Mother] about the importance and the deadlines of the mortgage, having a lease on the house or being able to settle in any way with the mortgage company." Father testified that he would "present situations" to Mother, but that she would "cry wolf" without any resolution. According to Father, had Mother agreed with his proposed solution, the parties would have a $900 mortgage payment, and a property valued at $200,000. However, Father "lost all that last year" and when he tried to sell the home, Mother refused.
Father testified that following the sale of the home, the remaining amount that the parties would have received was $40,000.00. However, there was a reported $30,000.00 in damages, so the parties only expected to receive $7,000.00.
According to Mother, had Father continued to either pay the mortgage or his child support obligation, they would have never been in foreclosure. During the foreclosure period, Mother believed Father's statements to her that he had found employment and was going to "turn things around." However, she also found that difficult to believe, given that Father was facing jail time for his failure to make his child support payments.
Mother emphasized that Father minimized her access to conversations surrounding the mortgage and foreclosure. Given that her name was included on the deed, Mother asked to be named on the promissory note; Father denied that request. On cross-examination, Father questioned how Mother obtained Zoom access to the final mortgage mediation meeting. Mother stated that she was sent a Zoom meeting link to her email by the mortgage company.
On cross-examination, Mother asked Father if he blamed her for the foreclosure. He testified, "I don't blame you for anything. Our struggles are our family struggles. I do think that you were afraid that I was trying to trick you when I said that you need[ed] to get a job, sign a lease on the house, and pay the lease. … Then, leading up to the loss of the house through a sheriff's sale, I had the house sold, and you believed that that was a trick, and you refused to sign that."
Employment
Mother has worked at the Garden Center as a salesperson for eight years. Mother confirmed that she has full-time, year-round employment. She noted that during two of the winter months, the Garden Center closes at 3:00pm rather than 5:00pm, and that it is regularly closed on Mondays. Mother stated that Father consistently and intentionally misrepresents her employment as part-time or seasonal.
Father testified that he did not believe Mother was employed year-round full-time because there were certain months that Mother did not work a full week. Father argued that if there were "two or three or four months out of the year [that] you're not working at that capacity, then it's not a full-time, year-round job." Father told Mother that she should have a job where she is gainfully employed, has mobility to advance in her field, and reliably receives the same amount of money each week.
Previously, Father resented Mother for not going back to work sooner after having children. Father testified that Mother refused to get a job for two years after the children were born. He argued that this required him to sacrifice a career in social work, making $9 an hour. Father also acknowledged that he asked Mother to quit her job in the summer of the first year she worked for childcare reasons.
Mother testified that she spent the two years fixing up the home and that Father refused to let her accept a job with a washer and dryer technician because women should not be alone with men in other people's houses. Father argued that he wanted Mother to find a job similar to the one she was offered, one that provided her flexibility, but not that exact job. He encouraged Mother to apply to be a bank teller. Mother stated that a bank job and the Garden Center paid equally. Father responded that a bank job would offer Mother possible career advancements, unlike working at the Garden Center, where she is making "ninety cents above minimum wage, eight years in, and without a year-round schedule."
Prior to the parties' separation Father quit his job. Mother deduced that he quit because Father believed the work was beneath him when his employer suggested that everyone pitch in to help clean the bathrooms. Once the parties' impending separation became evident to Father, he refused to seek employment. Mother testified that Father refused to work because he "did not want to be taken advantage of for child support," noting that Father's voluntary unemployment was intentional.
When asked about employment on the first day of the hearing, Father testified that he had been employed by ___ since October 2022. He worked as an electrical apprentice, earning $22.00 an hour. Father reported that in addition to his full-time employment, he occasionally supplemented his income with paid musical performances. On cross-examination, Mother suggested that she heard Father was being laid off. Father responded, "[i]t's slower." Mother asked Father whether he would still regard himself as a full-time employee if he worked fewer hours. Father did not respond to this question.
On the second day of the hearing, a week later, the Court asked Father whether he was still employed at ___. Father testified that he was not, as the job had run out of work for him. He stated that he had been gainfully self-employed for the past week but had already applied for positions at other companies and had viable options. He was confident that the family was stable despite this setback.
The Court asked Father to clarify how long he had been self-employed. Father testified that he had not had work from ___ for two weeks and that he was self-employed on the first day of the hearing. When the Court asked whether Father had formally been laid off, Father responded that he had not been able to get into contact with his employer recently. He testified that during the first week of June, his employer informed him that he did not have any work for him to do, and given his level of experience, he would be ineligible for higher-paid work. Father was given the option of being "downgraded" in work and taking lower-paying jobs or having time off.
The Court inquired about Father's musical career. Father testified that every Wednesday, he plays in a band with E ___. I ___ will play with the band occasionally. On the weekends, Father may play as a solo act or with his band. According to Father, he stopped booking musical engagements when the children moved in with him. Father testified that he does not currently have regular bookings. Most summers before the COVID-19 pandemic, Father would play six to seven nights a week and made extra income.
Visitation and Transportation
Father testified that he was content with the children making their visitation arrangements separately and independently with Mother. From his perspective, Mother has tried to adhere to the visitation scheduling guideline per the Interim Custody Order. When Mother asks to modify the schedule, the children coordinate directly with her. Father cautioned that although this arrangement works "for the most part," the quality, duration, and activity of the visit was "unpredictable." He testified that the children are frequently picked up several hours late and not dropped off per the schedule.
Mother testified that Father seldom transports the children to and from their visits with her. According to Mother, she always transported the children to and from Father's residence for his Sunday visitations. Mother stated that she knew it was important for the children to see Father, although he refused to provide transportation. When Father refused to bring the children back after his visits, Mother would remind him that it was his responsibility to drive the children home.
Once the children began residing with Father, Mother stated that she continued to provide all transportation between visits, except on one occasion. Father acknowledged that Mother provided the transportation for the children for his visits, and he testified that he does not provide all the transportation now but could if he was provided with a concrete schedule.
Father testified that he did not drive the children to visits with Mother because the pick-up and drop-off times and duration of the visits are inconsistent. He believed that making Mother responsible for transporting the children for her visits would ensure that she would be accountable for the schedule. Father explained that he could not provide transportation back to Mother during his Sunday visitations when he did not have a driver's license or when there was no precise time or drop-off location. Mother stated that the drop-off location had always been the family home. Mother stressed that her continued responsibility to transport the children has significantly affected her opportunities for full and meaningful visits.
According to Father, Mother currently arrives late to pick the children up for their weekly Wednesday dinner contact. She will keep them out after midnight or will not bring the children back to his home. Father stated that he could drive the children to Mother if he had a day's notice, but if she continued to modify the schedule on the day of the visit, he would be unable to drive them. Mother asserted that she has tried to communicate with Father when she would be late but also understood Father's wishes that she should be primarily scheduling with the children.
Prior to the 2018 Consent Order, Mother and Father agreed to Father's Sunday visits. During this period Mother required visits to be supervised by someone she knew and trusted. Following the issuance of the Consent Order, Father abided by the Sunday visitation schedule with the children.
Mother testified that Father asked a few times to exercise more visitation. She agreed, and Father was supposed to pick up I ___ on various days so that they could spend the evening together. Mother stated that Father did not show up to pick up I ___ "most of the time" and that she would have to call out of work early to pick him up. She recalled I ___ crying about Father missing their additional visits.
Mother testified that around Christmas 2019, Mother invited her sister ("Aunt L ___ ") to visit for the holiday. Prior to Aunt L ___'s arrival, Mother had coordinated with
Father to arrange his visitation with the children over three specified days; however, he did not take advantage of any of those days. Instead, a few days later, Father began texting Mother that he intended to pick up the children from her home. Mother responded that he could not because her sister was visiting. Father showed up unannounced at Mother's home and started shouting, "It's Christmas, R ___, it's Christmas!" Mother believed Father had misled the children into thinking she was not communicating with him. Ultimately, the children left with Father and missed spending time with Aunt L ___.
Mother testified that she did not see the children on Mother's Day this year. She stated that she received a text message from V ___ saying that she would not be spending Mother's Day with Mother because V ___ wanted to clean Father's house, as he requested. During Father's Day weekend, Mother wanted to spend Saturday with the children, as she knew that they would be spending Sunday with Father for Father's Day. V ___ messaged her to say that she would not be seeing Mother on Saturday because she wanted to clean the house that day so that she could spend all of Father's Day with Father.
Father explained that in his home, the "work week schedule" includes Saturday as a cleaning day. He testified that he did not tell the children to stay home and clean; instead, they wanted to stay home and clean because they had previously been "roped" into spending extra time with Mother during their visits. Father insisted that he participates minimally in the children's planning with Mother and that he did not discourage them from visiting with her on Mother's Day. The Court inquired whether Father encouraged V___ and I ___ to have a relationship with Mother. Father responded that he did and suggested that they get Mother a present, have a meal with her, or do whatever Mother wanted to do for the day. Father testified, "I would never try to keep the kids away from [Mother]. Even though they have seen horrible stuff, I am still making a concerted effort to make sure they still get to see her[.]"
Nutrition
Father maintained that the children were underfed in Mother's care. During the priority hearing, Father stated that the children had called him on multiple occasions to ask Father to order delivery to Mother's home. He testified that the children had gained weight while in his care.
In opposition, Mother testified that the children's claims about a lack of food came from their disinterest in the food that Mother kept and because they had grown up watching Father make the same statements towards her and belittle her cooking. As an example, Mother testified that after Father left the family home, the children began exhibiting similar behaviors to Father when it came to the food in the house.
Mother testified that Father refused to eat previously frozen chicken because "Gordon Ramsay would berate restauranteurs for using frozen meat." Mother would try to explain that cooking frozen meat was normal and healthy. Mother argued that Father had unrealistic expectations that the exact food he wanted would always be in the refrigerator. Mother believed that Father's constant beratement over her food supply and cooking taught the children to view her as an inadequate Mother.
Miscellaneous Expenses
Mother testified that in April 2024, V ___ went on a trip with the school band. Payment for the trip was due in Fall 2023. Paternal Grandmother had given Father $500.00 to put towards the trip. After receiving a call from the band director, Mother learned that the $500.00 was never given to trip organizers. According to Mother, Father told V ___ to tell the band directors that he had given Mother the $500.00 and that Mother would be providing it to them. Mother testified that after learning that Father had not paid his share, she paid the outstanding balance.
Other Concerns
Throughout his testimony, Father alleged that Mother withheld necessary paperwork from him and the children, and her actions have impeded their ability to seek social services, apply to college, and gain employment.
Father also recalled that prior to the parties' separation Mother failed to provide her signature and documents on the date that their food assistance application was due. He testified that Mother kept all of the paperwork, files, and bills stashed away in a desk, but that he was not allowed near the desk. When a family member had a medical appointment or needed to provide documentation for food assistance, Mother would refuse to let Father access the documents. He noted that when he tried to retrieve the documents, Mother would "have an episode and scream and flail."
Father raised concerns about Mother's driving, alleging that she wrecked three cars and often pulls over because of her anxiety. Mother stated that she only had two accidents and both instances were caused by Father frightening her. However, she admitted she should not have been driving, given her adrenaline level. Mother testified that she pulls over when the children are screaming and kicking her seat because it creates too much distraction for safe driving. She was aware that the children texted Father when she pulled over, and then Father would send her messages berating her, calling her crazy, and telling her that she should not have pulled over.
Father alleged that he received a video recording from the children wherein Mother had been pulled over by the police for going 70 miles per hour on a 30-mile-per-hour road. Mother did not respond to this allegation.
Father claimed that Mother does not discipline the children and that the house is unorganized and messy. Father testified that Mother has a history of hoarding collected trash to make art. He believed that the children did not have a clean work environment or space to play due to Mother's habits. Father argued that while in his care, the children have a rigid schedule; they work hard during the week and are rewarded with having their Sundays off "so that everybody could be themselves on that day without the looming discipline or getting yelled at."
(7) Evidence of domestic violence as provided for in Chapter 7A of this title; and Father's Accusations of Domestic Violence Against Mother
Father testified that he did not commit acts of domestic violence in his relationship with Mother; however, he alleged that Mother perpetrated various forms of abuse, including mental and financial abuse and troubling physical contact with the children.
During the first day of the hearing, Father alleged that he had witnessed a video recording of Mother kneeling on I ___'s back and pushing on his head "when she was really upset." He claimed similar incidents occurred even when he did not reside in the home. According to Father's testimony, on one occasion, Mother pulled V ___ out of the car, yelled at her, and left marks on V ___'s body. Father stated he learned about this immediately after it occurred while the children were living with Mother. Although he did not report the incident, he believed he had discussed it with Mother. Mother did not recall either of the incidents described by Father. However, she acknowledged that in the past, she had needed to restrain the children when they became physically aggressive with her.
Mother admitted to raising her voice at Father prior to the parties' separation in 2017. One evening before Thanksgiving 2017, following years of Father's rage and his refusal to address his concerning behaviors, she confronted Father after he had gone outside to smoke, intentionally raising her voice to alert neighbors out of fear for her safety. Previously, she kept their conflicts private out of compassion. After Father disclosed his bipolar disorder diagnosis, she initially viewed him as a "good guy with a bad illness." When Father did not seek treatment, Mother felt compelled to disclose their situation.
Mother's Accusations of Domestic Violence Against Father
Throughout her testimony, Mother detailed several instances of domestic violence perpetrated by Father. She claimed that Father verbally abused her throughout their marriage, often in front of the children. Mother stated that he would belittle her cooking and housekeeping skills in front of the children, portraying her as an inadequate mother.
Mother testified how Father's behavior affected their family dynamic. She stated there were times when she would receive praise from Father, and he would instruct the children to thank her. But there were many other occasions when he would mock and yell at her. Over time, Mother realized that her efforts were consistently criticized, regardless of their quality, depending solely on Father's mood. Mother testified that Father's demeaning behavior persisted until he moved out of their home. She asserted that his actions influenced their children, who began to mimic his disrespectful treatment towards her, particularly concerning food preparation.
According to Mother, during one of their family dinners, she began to cry because of Father's harsh words. Mother testified that when Father watched the tear fall from her eye, he became angrier and threw his knife down hard enough on his plate to shatter the plate. This incident was litigated at the parties' 2018 protection from abuse ("PFA") hearing.
Mother indicated that Father admitted to smacking her at the PFA hearing. Father testified that he did not smack Mother, nor did he admit to doing so. He recalled that during the incident in question, Mother was on the stairs, and Father tried to interrupt her while she was talking by tapping her on the leg. Father stated that Mother was offended by the tap but that they had worked it out at that moment. Father maintained that Mother filed the PFA petition in response to Father informing her that he was going to file for custody. The PFA was ultimately denied.
Father punched a hole in I ___ and E----'s wall in 2017. Father testified that the children were being loud one evening, and Father tapped on their wall with an open palm and told them to be quiet. Father claimed that a hole was created because the drywall was wet. Mother testified that she witnessed Father punch a hole through the wall in a fit of rage and the drywall was not wet.
During the parties' PFA hearing, Mother testified about this incident and brought photographs of the damage. However, she did not expect Father to present a different version of events and allege the drywall was wet. In preparation for their custody hearing in 2018, Mother cut out the damaged drywall to demonstrate that it was not thinner or water damaged as Father had suggested. Ultimately, this piece of drywall was not submitted to the Court in 2018 as evidence since the parties entered a consent order.
Father also punched a hole through V ___ 's door after an argument between V ___ and Mother. V ___ expressed feeling unloved, unsafe, and a desire to end her life, after which she slammed her door. Father testified that he feared she might try to open her window, so he broke down her door, picked her up, and reassured her of his love. Mother learned of Father's perspective of the incident months later and was taken aback by his claim that he acted out of concern for V ___ . Mother stated, "At the time, he immediately knew that what he had done was not okay. He didn't pick her up and hug her. He didn't open the door and hug her. He opened the door, grabbed her by her shirt and shook her like a rag doll. It's a moment that's burned in my brain because … he would do things like that to me."
Mother testified about a specific incident where Father was driving erratically to frighten her. Father mocked Mother for being scared and offered her the opportunity to drive back from Paternal Grandmother's house if his driving frightened her. When they left, Mother sat in the driver's seat. Mother stated that Father opened the driver's side door and screamed and spit in her face. Startled, Mother jumped over the center console, exited the car from the passenger side, and started shaking on the front lawn. Paternal Grandmother noticed and brought Mother inside to prevent neighbors from witnessing the scene. Mother stated that this was the only incident witnessed by Father's family.
Mother testified that Father's friend came to the house and witnessed Father yelling at Mother over a minor issue, possibly because she accidentally interrupted someone or bumped into something. When Father began yelling, Mother left the room feeling shaken. Father's friend immediately confronted him about his behavior, telling him it "was not cool." Mother thought this might prompt Father to seek help, but instead, she learned that Father told his friend that he "would not understand because he did not have a wife." Mother believed that Father implied it was his role to control her and that yelling was acceptable. Father responded that Mother might have mistaken his concerned or stern tone for yelling and clarified that he was merely "frustrated," not screaming.
Mother testified that Father preferred to keep his abusive behavior hidden and that they rarely spent time with her family because Father isolated her from them. For example, Mother recalled an incident when Father refused to let her meet her nephew during a return trip from Paternal Grandmother's house. Mother explained that Father always had the cars keys with him to maintain control.
Mother stated that as the years passed, Father's behavior became more severe. She stopped sleeping in the same room as him; she would lock the bedroom door and avoid being in the same room as him. Father began sleeping in the basement. During this period, Mother stated that Father could no longer take his anger out on her if she refused to be in the same room as him. If the parties needed to discuss an important matter, Mother would engage in conversation with Father so long as he did not scream or yell at her. At that point, Mother would leave the room.
The Court asked if the police had been called to the house while the parties lived together. Father confirmed they had, mentioning a single incident in 2018, but clarified that he was not arrested. According to Father, during a normal conversation, Mother opened the doors and began yelling that she did not feel safe. She threatened to call the police. Upon their arrival, the police informed Father that Mother was upset and wanted him to leave for a few days. Father expressed concern about Mother's mental state and requested a mental health evaluation, which the police declined to perform. As a result, Father left the home. He returned briefly but left again after Mother became upset.
Mother testified that there were numerous occasions in which she could have called the police, but she did not want Father to go to jail just because he was experiencing mental health symptoms. Mother recounted that she had called the crisis hotline once when the children were much younger but that the call was futile.
Mother reported that she was particularly scared by Father's threats. Mother testified that Father would regularly threaten to "lose it" and that "somebody's going to get hurt" if everyone around him did not cooperate. Mother claimed Father coerced her into managing his mood through food, cigarettes, and sexual compliance because "keeping [Father's] mood in check was [her] highest priority so that [the family] could stay safe."
When the children witnessed Father yelling at her, Mother believed that they were forced to choose between believing that Father was treating her awfully or that Mother was lovable but a little inadequate. Mother thought that it was easier for the children to believe the latter rather than think that Father was mean.
The Court asked Father whether he had ever degraded Mother in front of the children, in front of Mother, or behind Mother's back to the children. Father responded that he had been frustrated with Mother in the past but that he had never hurled insults at her. He testified that he had never broken anything in the home other than the two items of which Mother had evidence. He denied that he had slammed things, acted aggressively, screamed, or yelled at Mother. Father stated that he believed that Mother's experience was "genuine" but that her allegations were exaggerated in comparison to his behavior and that that could be corroborated by former neighbors, family members, and the children. Lastly, Father claimed that Mother screamed "a lot" and that he did not scream.
(8) The criminal history of any party or any other resident of the household including whether the criminal history contains pleas of guilty or no contest or a conviction of a criminal offense.
Both parties testified that they have no respective criminal histories. The Court is not concerned with either party's criminal history.
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Children's Interviews
The Court interviewed I ___ on July 2, 2024, and V ___ on July 17, 2024. Despite being admonished not to discuss any of the proceedings with the children, the Court was concerned by some of the children's responses and believed that Father discussed his preparation for these proceedings with them more than he admitted to during his testimony. Both V ___ and I ___ advised the Court during their interviews that they would honor this Court's Order.
I ___
I ___ described his relationship with Father as "good," and his relationship with Mother was "iffy," although they tried to work things out. When the Court asked I ___ what he meant by that statement, he stated that Mother's moods were sometimes "snappy" or inconsistent. I ___ expressed that he understood why Mother may act like that, as she "does not live with her kids anymore." I ___ stated that Mother was likely "trying to get better" and "trying her best."
I ___ stated that he wanted to spend a similar amount of time with Mother as he had been since the issuance of the Interim Order. He clarified that he sees Mother weekly for their dinner contact and at least one day on the weekend. I ___ noted that he does not want to stay overnight at Mother's as often as she would like. According to I ___, Mother questions him about the purchase of beds if the children do not intend to spend the night at her home.
The Court asked I ___ as to his opinion of Mother's residence. I ___ described the home as furnished but "not the best." He expressed uncertainty about whether Mother's house qualified as an apartment because it lacks a "real address" and is situated behind another house. I ___- mentioned that he was not sure if Mother had a mailbox because she had previously received mail at a friend's mailbox. When asked to elaborate, I ___ clarified that Mother uses her friend's mailbox and that the house lacks visible house numbers. The Court then asked if these factors affected his ability to stay at Mother's home, to which I ___ responded, "[n]o, I just wasn't sure if that was a problem or not."
I ___ mentioned that when he visits Mother's home, he spends most of his time sitting around, though he does enjoy using the newly assembled pool. However, he expressed a preference for spending time at Father's house because there are more musical instruments available and because V ___ and E ___ are both there. I ___ noted that there are more job opportunities near Father's house than Mother's, which he described as being located "in the middle of nowhere." He specifically mentioned having a potential job opportunity, which is a five-minute bike ride from Father's home.
During the Court's questioning, I ___ confirmed that Mother spoke negatively about Father in his presence in the past, though he could not recall the most recent instance. He acknowledged that after visits with Mother, if something unusual occurred, such as Mother pulling over or becoming passionate about feminism, he and V ___ would discuss it with Father. I ___ stated that in response, Father acknowledged the behavior as unusual but encouraged them to move past it.
I ___ mentioned that Father encourages him to maintain a relationship with Mother by spending "good quality time" with her. When asked by the Court if Father's encouragement included providing transportation to Mother's home, I ___ stated that Father makes every effort to drive him and V ___ to Mother's house whenever possible. However, there are times when Father is unable to provide transportation because he is occupied with other tasks, such as getting an oil change, working, or playing music.
During his interview, I ___ stated that he wanted to live with Father "even if [Father] is going through a financial crisis." I ___ preferred to live with Father because Father "hustles to be the best that he can be" for them. The Court asked whether I ___ believed that Mother did not "hustle." I ___ clarified that Mother does "hustle," but given the amount of time he has already spent with her and the events that have transpired, "even if [he] stayed with Father until [he is] eighteen and ready to move out, it would not make up for the amount of time that [he] has already spent with [his] mom." When asked where he had gotten that belief, I ___ responded that he had known since moving, noting the extended period that he had lived apart from Father and their limited Sunday interactions.
The Court questioned whether Mother or Father had discussed what had taken place in the courtroom with him. I ___ replied, "[n]ot exactly," but that when Father came home, I ___ had asked him if everything had gone well, and Father told him that he believed that it had. I ___ added that he, V ___, E ___, and Father have had conversations about how the proceedings may go and "things that we can say," including "situations that have happened in the past" involving Mother.
When asked how Father participated in those conversations, I ___ stated that Father does not say a lot but that he had a folder on his phone of recordings and other documentation that he and his siblings had sent Father over time. I---- described this folder as containing videos of arguments between E ___ and Mother that "could be used as proof or something." I ___ stated that Father had never directly discussed anything that happened in the courtroom, nor had Father told them "directly to say anything."
V ___
During V----'s interview, she confirmed that she had not discussed her impending interview with anyone besides I ___. When she spoke to I ___ following his interview, I ___ did not relay any specific details but noted that he believed that he "did good."
The Court inquired about V ___ 's relationships with her family members. V-- ---- stated that her relationship with Mother was not going well. V ___ referred to Mother as "unstable." She mentioned that she felt anxious around Mother and noted Mother's recent excessive purchases for her, expressing skepticism about Mother's motivations behind them. When V ___ told Mother that she wanted to live primarily with Father, Mother responded that she wanted V ___ to spend time with her. V ___ stated that she does not like it when Mother repeatedly requests the two to spend time together and that it pushes her away from Mother. V ___ felt bad, as she wanted a good relationship with her mother, but she did not like where Mother lived.
As to Mother's home, the Court asked how Mother had furnished her room. V- ___ stated that she had never asked for the items that Mother purchased and that Mother has continued to buy her more décor. When V ___ visits Mother's home and indicates to her that she does not want to spend the night, Mother asks her why she purchased a bed for her if she does not want to stay over.
V ___ noted that she had not spent the night at Mother's home this summer and that she did not want to spend the night in the future. She would like to maintain the visitation schedule as detailed in the Interim Custody Order and for visits when there are events that she could attend with Mother. V ___ stated that when she visits Mother's home alone, Mother ignores her.
V ___ described her relationship with Father as "very nice" and that they get along well together. She stated that she felt similarly about their relationship even when Father only had one day of visitation a week. V ___ said that Mother warned her that "the grass is always greener on the other side," but since living with Father, she believed it was "definitely greener on the other side."
The Court inquired whether V ___ had heard Mother or Father make belittling or denigrating comments towards the other. V ___ remembered that Mother made comments about feminism, in the sense that there were some things Father's assistance was limited in capacity because he was not a woman. As to the remarks made by Father against Mother, V ___ reported that she primarily vents to him about Mother but that he does not contribute. V ___ could not recall Mother and Father speaking positively about the other.
V---- discussed her previous engagement with her therapist, Ms. S ___. V ___ stated that Mother took her away from Ms. S ___ because Mother believed that V ___ had been lying to Ms. S ___ . V ___ insisted that she had not lied to her therapist and that what she had disclosed to Ms. S ___ would not put Mother in any legal trouble. V---- stated that she viewed Ms. S ___ as her mother, that she believes they have a personal relationship, and that they are in contact occasionally. V ___ would like to restart therapy with Ms. S ___ after she recovers from a liver transplant. Until then, V ___ was content to continue speaking with her school counselor and Father.
During V ___ 's visits with Mother, which I ___ also usually attends, they will mostly stay in Rehoboth unless Mother wants to cook them dinner. V ___ stated that when she and I ___ have dinner at Mother's house, Mother keeps them past their visitation time as a ploy to get them to spend the night. She mentioned that I ___ only spends the night at Mother's house when his girlfriend is also permitted to spend the night. V ___ believed this to be another form of bribery toward I ___ .
Toward the conclusion of her interview, V ___ asked whether the parties had discussed a person named F ___ M ___ n ("Ms. M ___ "). V ___ explained that Ms. M ___ was her mother's friend and a "really bad person" who was around the family when V ___ was in middle school. She stated that she had seen Mother and Ms. M ___ do drugs together but that Mother has continued to deny that allegation. According to V ___, Mother's behavior now, which she described as "jumpy," was similar to how she acted around Ms. M ___ . V ___ sees Ms. M ___ at music shows but has ignored her. She clarified that Mother does not bring Ms. M ___ to these shows.
* * * * *
The Court is concerned about many of the statements made by I ___ and V ___ during their interviews.
While I ___ 's statements often aligned with Father's account, the Court found troubling similarities in their perspectives on Mother's housing, Father's financial challenges, and I ___ 's reasoning for preferring to live with Father. I ___ criticized Mother's residence for lacking a mailbox, a criticism that Father made during his testimony. It appears implausible without external influence for I ___ 's view of Mother's home to be inadequate simply because it is missing a mailbox. Further, I ___ struggled to justify why the presence of a mailbox would deem a residence inappropriate.
I ___ also expressed a desire to live with Father regardless of his financial situation, which Father repeatedly attributed to Mother's actions during his testimony. The Court found it interesting that I ___ would support Father through his financial woes, yet when Mother suffered financially, she was deemed inadequate. Father admitted discussing his monetary struggles, including the impact of child support obligations, with the children. Mother viewed this disclosure as manipulative. The Court emphasizes that conversations about financial concerns are not appropriate topics to be discussed with the children.
Additionally, I ___ mentioned that even if he lived with Father until he was eighteen years old, it would not equate to the amount of time that he had spent with Mother following the 2018 Custody Order. He noted that he became aware of this idea following his move to Father's home. During Father's testimony, he requested the return of his "time-owed" from the Court, which raised concerns that he may be using the custody order and child support obligations to portray himself as a victim and for retribution against Mother.
Lastly, I ___'s knowledge of Father's phone folder containing videos of Mother to use as evidence against her and the children's active participation in contributing to this folder are alarming to the Court.
V ___ referred to Mother as "unstable," which was Father's characterization of Mother throughout his testimony. While the Court affords V ___ belief in her perception of Mother, the language V ___ used to describe her was detached and generally presented without further explanation.
Perhaps most concerning about V ___ 's interview was the reference made to Ms. M ___ and Mother's alleged drug use. The first accusations made against Mother about any illicit drug use came during Father's testimony on the second day of the hearing and then V ___ 's interview. Specifically, V ___ asked whether Ms. M ___ had been mentioned during the hearing. If she had not, V ___ wanted the Court to know that Ms. M ___ was a dangerous person with whom Mother used to spend time. The timing of V ___'s disclosure is questionable, particularly after the absence of an allegation of drug or alcohol use by Mother previously.
Overall, the Court found many of V ___ and I ___'s statements concerning and potentially influenced by inappropriate disclosures and discussions, which raises questions about Father's influence over the children. Thus, the Court is skeptical about assigning significant weight to V ___ and I ___'s interviews in making its custody and placement determination.
Father's Inconsistent Testimony
During his testimony, Father made several statements that either contradicted his prior testimony or lacked supporting evidence.
Father testified that the children were doing better in school but provided no corroborating evidence to support this claim. Additionally, Father alleged that Mother acted aggressively toward the children and claimed he saw a video of Mother kneeling on I ___'s back. However, he did not provide the video to the Court or report the incident.
Father initially testified that Mother's house lacked full sized appliances and insulation. Subsequently, Father stated that Mother's house was a pleasant place and acknowledged the improvements she made to the house.
Since 2018, Mother had sole legal custody and provided transportation to and from visits for Father and the children. Father continues to assign transportation responsibility to Mother to ensure compliance with visitation while also claiming he encourages the children to maintain a relationship with her. However, the Court finds mere encouragement insufficient, expecting Father to take a more active role in fostering their relationship. Additionally, Father testified that the children were "roped" into spending extra time with Mother. This is inconsistent with Father's claim that he encourages the children's relationship with Mother. In fact, characterizing Mother's time with the children in that way shows that Father does not appreciate the value in the children spending time with Mother.
Despite testifying he had not berated or belittled Mother, Father's behavior appears to have undermined her authority in the family, as observed by the children. He alternated between questioning Mother's capabilities and begrudgingly acknowledging her accomplishments since losing their home.
Of particular concern to the Court were Father's discussions with the children about child support, his financial situation, and the details of the case. Initially, Father denied blaming Mother for his financial difficulties in front of the children; however, he later admitted to discussing these issues with the children, which calls into question his earlier assertions.
Father's narrative about his mortgage and child support payments was confusing and misleading. He erroneously believed Mother was "double-dipping" in child support when, in fact, he had not made mortgage payments since 2019, and child support payments only began in September 2020, well after the house had entered forbearance.
Father also criticized Mother's employment status, arguing against its stability and advancement opportunities. Ironically, Father contradicted his testimony regarding his employment status during the hearing. On the first day of the hearing, Father testified that he was employed with ___. Father later admitted that he was not employed on the first day of the hearing but rather freelancing after losing his job in June.
The Court does not take a party's inconsistent statements lightly. There is an expectation of honesty throughout every proceeding. Father's inconsistent testimony was alarming to the Court, and the Court finds that Father's testimony lacks credibility.
Analysis
Based upon the evidence, the Court finds that it is in V ___ and I ___ 's best interest for Mother and Father to share JOINT LEGAL CUSTODY and SHARED RESIDENCY. In determining custody, no single factor is determinative. Instead, the Court must weigh the totality of the circumstances and reach a decision that will best serve the children. Based upon the evidence presented at the bifurcated hearing as well as the children's interviews, and upon consideration of the enumerated best interest factors, the Court finds that factors (1), (2), (3), (4), (6) and (7) weigh in favor of joint legal custody and shared residency; factor (5) is neutral; and factor (8) is inapplicable. As will be discussed below, the Court assigned significant weight to factors (6) and (7) and evaluated factor (2) against Father's evident coaching and manipulation of the children.
With respect to factor (1), which pertains to the parents' preferences for custody and residential arrangements, Mother and Father held opposing views. Father advocated for sole legal custody and primary placement of V ___ and I ___, citing a traumatic experience under Mother's care in the past. He argued that since they moved in with him, he has provided the emotional and physical stability the children need. In contrast, Mother sought joint legal custody and shared residency, emphasizing the importance of both parents being actively involved in the children's lives. She acknowledged the children's preference to live with Father in her request for shared residency.
Initially, Father argued for sole legal custody and primary placement, proposing that Mother have one day of visitation per week, similar to his previous schedule when she had sole legal custody and placement. Father seemed to resent the fact that Mother previously had sole custody and placement, even though Father voluntarily consented to this arrangement. Father stated that this request was not intended as punitive or retaliatory for what he perceived as lost time with the children but rather accounts for the children's already busy schedules. The Court is skeptical of Father's explanation and is concerned that an award of sole custody and placement with Father would enable him to disenfranchise Mother, causing further damage to her relationship with the children. Conversely, Mother's argument in favor of her position centered on the children's well-being, rather than personal or punitive reasons. While the parties are opposed in their positions, this factor weighs in favor of joint legal custody and shared residency because the Court questions Father's motives.
Regarding factor (2), both V ___ and I ___ have expressed a preference to continue living primarily with Father. Mother cautioned the Court that the children's wishes, while significant, may have been influenced by years of Father's manipulation. I ___'s interview, in which he echoed Father's testimony and Father's inconsistent statements about his communication with the children regarding the proceedings, led the Court to lessen the weight given to the children's preferences in its custody decision. Similarly, the Court is cautious to give V ___'s wishes greater weight, given her tangential comment about Ms. M--- ___ and disturbing parallels to Father's testimony. Therefore, this factor weighs against granting sole legal custody and residency to Father.
Concerning factor (3), V ___ and I ___ stated they have a positive relationship with Father and are happy living with him. I ___ mentioned feeling emotionally, mentally, and academically better while staying with Father. Throughout the case, the children consistently expressed concerns about their time living with Mother, noting that although their relationships with her were improving, they had been strained for a long time. However, as mentioned above, the Court is concerned about Father's influence over the children's interviews.
The parties agreed that their children have a good relationship with each other. I ___ stated that one reason that he enjoyed living at Father's was because V ___ and E ___ also lived in his home. V ___ described the positive nature of her relationship with Father and her reliance on him for emotional support against her turbulent relationship with Mother. Believably, V ___ 's relationship with Mother is damaged. She alleged that Mother has tried to bribe her and I---- to spend more time with her, which has pushed V ___ away from their relationship. It seems that Mother's desire to spend time with the children has been used against her.
The Court is concerned that the children appear to be conditioned to provide Father with information about Mother. Father then uses this information to further disparage Mother and undermine her parental authority. For example, Father testified that the children sent him a video of Mother being pulled over for speeding. Mother testified that the children text Father when she pulls her vehicle over while driving and that Father responds by texting Mother that she is acting crazy. Father stated that the children told him about an incident where Mother pulled V ___ out of her vehicle. Additionally, Father testified that he witnessed a video of Mother kneeling on I ___. These instances, coupled with the fact that the children are aware of Father's folder of evidence against Mother, are alarming to the Court. The Court emphasizes that children should not be involved in parental conflicts.
The Court is concerned that an award of sole legal custody and placement with Father would cause further harm to the children's relationship with Mother, rather than repair it. Father has a history of making disparaging comments about Mother. Father has not taken an active role in ensuring the children spend time with Mother since the Interim Custody Order. Father testified that the children were often "roped" into spending time with Mother. This characterization is alarming and shows that Father does not value the children's time spent with Mother. Consequently, factor (3) weighs in favor of joint legal custody and shared residency.
Factor (4) weighs in favor of joint legal custody and shared residency. Father testified that the children were excited about living in his home and that their adjustment had gone well. I ___ noted that there were more opportunities and activities around Father's home, including possible employment. The children expressed that they were more isolated at Mother's home because she lived in a more rural area.
V ___, I ___, and Father agreed that their academic performance improved after they moved in with Father. However, Father presented no corroborating evidence that the children did better in school while in his care. The Court acknowledged Mother's concerns about how Father measured academic success when it appeared that their school performance was similar to when they lived with Mother. The Court also understands that the children's unstable housing situation may have affected their academic performance.
The Court finds that stability is of particular importance to the children given their experience during the foreclosure of the family home. Mother testified that her current housing is intended to be long term, and she has maintained the same job for eight years. In contrast, Father testified that his housing is temporary, and he recently lost his job. Thus, factor (4) supports the Court's determination of joint legal custody and shared placement.
As to factor (5), it was undisputed that the children were in good physical health. Father asserted that the children's mental and emotional health had improved now that they were afforded stability and peace while at his home. According to Mother, joint legal custody would provide greater emotional stability because both parents are equally involved in their lives. The Court agrees with Mother; the children made clear that when Mother had sole custody, they frequently wanted more of a relationship with Father and that the custody arrangement hindered that. The Court is convinced that awarding sole legal custody in favor of Father would create a similar dynamic in reverse.
Both parties testified that these proceedings have caused them stress and anxiety. The Court notes its concern regarding Mother and Father's accusations against the other's mental health, weaponization of therapy, and substance use. The Court strongly encourages both parties to begin or continue with individual therapy and to seek any psychiatric evaluations that they believe would be helpful in order to serve the interests of their children best. As such, this factor weighs neutrally because neither party presented sufficient evidence to support their allegations.
Factor (6) weighs heavily against Father's request. One of the most compelling factors in this case against an award of sole legal custody and primary residency is Father's willful failure to pay child support pursuant to the Court's Order. Of the 44 months that Father has had a child support obligation, he paid only 15, and in varying amounts. Father owes over $20,000.00 in child support arrears, and this Court finds his behavior to be abhorrent. Perhaps even more discouraging, Father was inconsistent in his testimony regarding the frequency with which he paid child support and how often he lamented to the children about his obligation.
See D.S.W. v. A.J.N., 2012 WL 5844907 (Del. Fam. Aug. 17, 2012) ("This Court will not tolerate parties who come to court and argue that it is in the best interests of their children to either live with them or have a shared residency when they do not honor their court-ordered obligation to support their children. In such cases, the petition for custody may be motivated by a desire to lessen or avoid one's child support obligation."
A child support obligation is only paid to the other parent as a fiduciary for that child or children. As this Court wrote in its decision in D.S.W. v. A.J.N., "The right of child support is vested in the child and for a parent to ignore their Court-ordered obligation speaks volumes as to their willingness to be a co-parent in a shared residential arrangement and to conduct themselves in the best interests of the child." Mother did not have the benefit of Father's income when he moved out and she had responsibility for herself and her children. Father maintained that he was unsure why Mother would file for child support when she knew he had fallen on hard times financially. Father characterized Mother's filing for child support as "double-dipping." However, Father neglected to consider that he and Mother made an agreement that he would pay the mortgage in lieu of child support, but when he stopped paying the mortgage, he breached that agreement. Mother need not consider why Father was unable to make the mortgage payments before filing for child support; she needed support on behalf of the children, and she filed for support as a result of Father's breach of agreement.
See 13 Del. C. § 518. See also Holmes v. Wooley, 792 A.2d 1018, 1021 (Del. Super. 2001) ("The language of § 518 imposes a duty on the child support obligee to use child support monies for the benefit of the minor children. Explicit in this obligation is the understanding that the child support obligee acts as a fiduciary on behalf of the children.")
While Father gave lip service to encouraging the children to have a relationship with Mother, his actions speak louder in the reverse. He had very little positive to say about Mother. Rather, he constantly referred to Mother as unstable and "crying wolf." Mother on the other hand has encouraged the children to spend time with Father. The Court found her testimony as credible regarding Father's treatment of her.
Additionally, Father's failure to facilitate transportation for the children to and from Mother's visitation weighs against his request. Father simultaneously expected Mother to coordinate modifications to the visitation schedule directly with the children, while also expressing frustration when the visits did not conform to the schedule. The Court remains aware of the parties' history of tumultuous communication. However, if the parties utilize Our Family Wizard appropriately, the Court believes that its concern can be reduced. Accordingly, Factor (6) supports the Court's determination of joint legal custody and shared placement.
Regarding the evidence of domestic violence as presented under factor (7) and provided an analysis under chapter 7A of Title 13 to the Delaware Code, the Court must fashion an order that sets forth a schedule, location, and conditions for contact that "best protects the child and the victim of domestic violence." 13 Del. C. § 706A (a) states that "[a]ny evidence of a past or present act of domestic violence, whether or not committed in the presence of the child, is a relevant factor that must be considered by the court in determining the legal custody and residential arrangements in accordance with the best interests of the child." Factor (7) is a significant issue in the Court's analysis.
Father asserted that while he had not committed acts of domestic violence against Mother, he claimed that Mother had committed mental, physical, and financial abuse upon the family. He testified that Mother had physical contact with the children after he left the family home and that she had manipulated the children against him throughout the years. Father did not provide evidence to support these claims.
In contrast, Mother testified about Father's repeated incidents of abuse against her. Despite Father's assertion that he did not yell, berate, or degrade Mother, the Court finds this claim to be implausible. In fact, Father contradicted his own testimony by admitting to breaking items and raising his voice at Mother on occasion. While Father may perceive his behavior as stern rather than yelling, the Court does not view the situation in this light. Mother repeatedly expressed fear of Father, and this fear extended to E ___ when he began exhibiting similar behavior. Father's interactions with Mother have markedly influenced the children's respect for her authority negatively. Additionally, the Court doubts Father's account of punching holes in the children's walls and doors. The Court finds Mother to be more credible than Father. Consequently, this factor strongly weighs against awarding Father sole legal custody and primary residency.
Factor (8) remains inapplicable since both parties assured the Court they have no criminal histories, which was confirmed through an independent review of their DELJIS reports.
In complying with the requirements of 13 Del. C. § 728, the Court does not find that contact between the children and Mother would endanger V ___ or I ___'s physical health or significantly impair their emotional development. The Court disagrees with Father's claim that increased contact with Mother would be devastating to V ___ and I ___; however, the Court acknowledges the strain in the children's relationship with Mother, attributable in part to home foreclosure and Father's actions and comments.
Conclusion
Based on the analysis of the § 722 factors, and in affording proper weight to V___ and I ___'s wishes, it is in the parties' best interests that Mother and Father share JOINT LEGAL CUSTODY, with shared placement. This arrangement is also supported by the requirements of 13 Del. C. § 728(a). As set forth below, the parties will be awarded residency on a schedule that allows for frequent and meaningful contact with the children.
"The Court shall determine, whether the parents have joint legal custody of the child or 1 of them has sole legal custody of the child, with which parent the child shall primarily reside and a schedule of visitation with the other parent, consistent with the child's best interests and maturity, which is designed to permit and encourage the child to have frequent and meaningful contact with both parents unless the Court finds, after a hearing, that contact of the child with 1 parent would endanger the child's physical health or significantly impair such child's emotional development. The Court shall specifically state in any order denying or restricting a parent's access to a child the facts and conclusions in support of such a denial or restriction."
The children shall reside with Father from Saturday at 6:00 p.m. until Wednesday after school. The children shall reside with Mother from Wednesday after school to Saturday at 6:00 p.m. On Wednesdays, Mother shall be responsible for transporting the children to her residence. On Saturdays, Father shall be responsible for transporting the children from Mother's residence to his residence.
ORDER
IT IS HEREBY ORDERED this 1ST day of October, 2024 that:
1. Mother and Father shall have JOINT LEGAL CUSTODY and SHARED RESIDENCY of V ___ and I ___ .
2. Effective IMMEDIATELY, the parties shall share residency of the children pursuant to the following weekly schedule:
(a) Father: The children shall be in Father's primary care from Saturday at 6:00 p.m. until Wednesday after school;
(b) Mother: The children shall be in Mother's primary care from Wednesday after school until Saturday at 6:00 p.m.
3. Mother shall be responsible for transporting the children to her care on Wednesdays. Father shall be responsible for transporting the children to his care on Saturdays.
4. The parties shall communicate with one another through Our Family Wizard ("OFW) regarding matters pertaining to V ___ and I ___. Mother shall communicate with Father through the OFW application to notify him of any substantial departures from the visitation schedule. The parties shall equally share the cost of the OFW application.
5. Father shall have the children on the holidays in Column 1 in odd-numbered years and the holidays in Column 2 in even-numbered years. Mother shall have the children on the holidays in Column 1 in even-numbered years and the holidays in Column 2 in odd-numbered years. With the exception of Christmas and Halloween contact, holiday contact shall be from 9:00 a.m. until 6:00 p.m. the day of the holiday. Halloween contact shall begin at 5:00 p.m. and end at 8:00 p.m. Christmas Eve contact shall begin at 6:00 p.m. on December 24th and end at noon on December 25th. Christmas Day contact shall begin at noon on December 25th and end at 6:00 p.m. on December 26th.
| Column 1 | Column 2 |
| Easter or other religious holiday Fourth of July Halloween Christmas Day | Memorial Day Labor Day Thanksgiving Day Christmas Eve |
6. On Mother's Day and Father's Day, no matter whose turn for contact, the children shall be with the parent whose holiday is being celebrated from 9:00 a.m. until 6:00 p.m.
7. V ___ and I ___ shall engage in individual therapy. The parties shall equally share the out-of-pocket costs for the children's therapy.
8. I ___ shall undergo a psychological evaluation from an independent medical practitioner to determine whether he should be prescribed medication for attention-related disorders and mood disorders. The parties shall equally share the cost of I ___'s evaluation and subsequent medication management appointments not offset by insurance.
9. The Court expects strict adherence by the parties and their children with this Court's Order.
10. This is a FINAL ORDER.
IT IS SO ORDERED.
Very truly yours,
MICHAEL K. NEWELL, CHIEF JUDGE